Episode 175 - Ultraviolet: LIVE!

[tomspanks 9039]

 

Cynthia Rothrock

Ziyi Zhang

Michelle Rodriguez

Grace Jones

Bridgette Nielson

 

If you go Ziyi Zhang, may I please add Michelle Yeoh?

 

[Cam Bert 8145]

Cynthia Rothrock

 

My like of you has increased tenfold.

[Cam Bert 8145]

I don't know if you guys know about JeeJa Yanin but...

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

 

My like of you has increased tenfold.

One of the first to spring to mind.

 

[MmmBlister 5]

They did mention that she was experimented on by this government, which was presumably why she was pissed? And why she was super soldier/The One. And the gasp from the crowd was i imagine b because she didn't miscarry the government of biohazard sign (stealth Resident Evil Easter egg?) forced the terminated pregnancy.

 

So how'd they catch her or was she in their employ before? Yet they don't recognize her whatsoever. And by the way, doesn't it send up red flags this lady is changing her overall appearance while verifying her identity? At the very least it's silly she took the time to do that then.

[grudlian. 4725]

My absolutely favorite scene was the Three Wise Monkey's scene. From him asking four armed vampires if they can kill him, to not spilling a drop of coffee from his futuristic martini-glass-cup, to they guy shot in the ear somehow falling down dead, this scene played like a microcosm of all the problems in the movie: it didn't make any sense; it was over the top; it was poorly executed (how many times is the coffee level going to change in that cup?!); it didn't drive the plot; it was overtly symbolic (though I don't know what the symbol had to do with the theme of the movie); and it was thoroughly confusing!

 

I'm not recommending this movie to anyone, but everyone should take a minute to appreciate that scene!

Here's the scene in case anyone missed it.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

I have a theory that this movie is part of a Shared Universe with a 14-year-old-boy's wet dream after drinking a gallon of Mountain Dew Code Red. It makes about as much sense as a dream, traveling from scene to scene in defiance of all logic and laws of physics. It's a visual mish-mash of washed out CGI and out-of-focus nonsense, complete with floating heads and fetishistic costumes. And, of course, there's the presence of Milla Jovovich, who, as the content of the Second Opinions reviews makes clear, is the focus of many-a creepy teenage boy's obsessions. This is what happens to such a teenager's subconscious after 100 viewings of 2002's Resident Evil, 36 hours of gaming without sleep, and the subsequent crash into a coma-like state after a soda-induced sugar high.

[Howibetyourmother 23]

Not sure if this is a correction or omission, but I have a valid question:

 

Why is it that in this world where everyone is so afraid to be touched by the smallest amount of blood, the majority of their weaponry (almost all of it) causes MASSIVE amounts of blood to be spilled? Any blood spatter analyst can tell you that even when a GSW has no corresponding exit wound, a significant amount of blood is sprayed into the surrounding air. In this world, using a gun on a Hemophage without the use of full biohazard suits would be a nightmare of contamination. In the first scene alone, when the hemophages infiltrate the blood supply, their bodies are riddled with bullets in the middle of a circle at point-blank range. Their blood spray would have covered everything in that room, and even if the SWAT team was wearing protective gear, which you could make the argument that they are, the "detectives" (? lack of a better word) have their faces completely uncovered! Why? did we need to see their faces? Are they important to the story later on? Nope.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Not sure if this is a correction or omission, but I have a valid question:

 

Why is it that in this world where everyone is so afraid to be touched by the smallest amount of blood, the majority of their weaponry (almost all of it) causes MASSIVE amounts of blood to be spilled? Any blood spatter analyst can tell you that even when a GSW has no corresponding exit wound, a significant amount of blood is sprayed into the surrounding air. In this world, using a gun on a Hemophage without the use of full biohazard suits would be a nightmare of contamination. In the first scene alone, when the hemophages infiltrate the blood supply, their bodies are riddled with bullets in the middle of a circle at point-blank range. Their blood spray would have covered everything in that room, and even if the SWAT team was wearing protective gear, which you could make the argument that they are, the "detectives" (? lack of a better word) have their faces completely uncovered! Why? did we need to see their faces? Are they important to the story later on? Nope.

If this movie endeavored to make sense, maybe people trying to kill hemophages would use some sort of gas weapons so as not to draw blood? Sort of like the Golden Age DC-era Sandman, Wesley Dodds?

 

 

I know that's a stretch, and maybe other non-projectile weaponry like some sort of taser would be more "future-y," but hey, I love the Wesley Dodds costume and I am a Francesco Francavilla fanboy so when an excuse to post art like the image above presents itself, I WILL TAKE IT!

[Howibetyourmother 23]

I thought it would've been a more major theme, too, since they introduced the idea in the first scene! After she gains access to the room where she grabs the magic backpack, there are guards in the room who carry what looks like the police baton from Demolition Man on steroids. They're only used in that scene and then abandoned for the rest of the movie for blood-spraying bullets and knives and swords, and at one point, just flinging blood at someone.

[Howibetyourmother 23]

If this movie endeavored to make sense, maybe people trying to kill hemophages would use some sort of gas weapons so as not to draw blood? Sort of like the Golden Age DC-era Sandman, Wesley Dodds?

 

 

90s-era Disney's Darkwing Duck, maybe?

[SeaSkunk 212]

Did they ever explain why the infected people are called hemophages? Do they need more blood than others for some reason? Do they crave blood?

 

Calling them vampires makes sense even if they just have elongated canines and sun sensitivity, but why hemophage?

 

Maybe they planned to answer that in the blood supply scene at the movie open but never got around to it...

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Did they ever explain why the infected people are called hemophages? Do they need more blood than others for some reason? Do they crave blood?

 

Calling them vampires makes sense even if they just have elongated canines and sun sensitivity, but why hemophage?

 

Maybe they planned to answer that in the blood supply scene at the movie open but never got around to it...

I'm assuming it's a play on the variety of viruses known as Bacteriophages. From Wikipedia

 

A bacteriophage /ˈbækˈtɪər.i.oʊˌfeɪdʒ/, also known informally as a phage /ˈfeɪdʒ/, is a virus that infects and replicates within a bacterium. The term was derived from "bacteria" and the Greek: φαγεῖν (phagein), "to devour".

 

So the term being derived from "to devour" makes sense, as vampires literally devour blood to survive. I think the name "hemophage" is probably the smartest and most logical part of this fucking movie.

[tomspanks 9039]

Kind of related to the post above. At one point, Daxus says to Violet, "you got hemoblood on me!" The prefix hemo- means blood, so he's basically saying "you got blood blood on me." I bet he's one of those people who say "ATM machine" and "PIN number."

[Cam Bert 8145]

I could be wrong on this but is the cemetery fight scene the only scene in the movie that has natural lighting, shot at an actual location, and no filters or CGI manipulation in it?

[SonarJose 9]

re: The final Second Opinion claim that Milla Jovovich does all her own stunts. ...

 

That is all.

[RyanSz 3140]

Watching this 30 million dollar budget movie made me realize how much the people making had to have embezzled every single penny of that because I recently rewatched the first ABCs of Death anthology and there is a segment set in a similar dystopian future and has way better CGI and with a fraction of the budget.

 

[SeaSkunk 212]

I'm assuming it's a play on the variety of viruses known as Bacteriophages.

 

So the term being derived from "to devour" makes sense, as vampires literally devour blood to survive. I think the name "hemophage" is probably the smartest and most logical part of this fucking movie.

 

Good call! I think I was confusing it with hemophage with hemophile.

 

At one point, Daxus says to Violet, "you got hemoblood on me!" The prefix hemo- means blood, so he's basically saying "you got blood blood on me."

 

Well, if getting blood on you is bad, getting blood blood must be even worse?

[RyanSz 3140]

Well, if getting blood on you is bad, getting blood blood must be even worse?

Sort of like how the Devil is a bad dude, but the Super Devil is REALLY bad.

[SweatyPremise 28]

No one made a single comment about the title of the film. Her name is Violet, and she is certainly ultra-powerful, but it's also a reference to UV wavelengths, which are what vampires (hemophages) are sensitive to. Also, nothing disinfects like UV light, so it also suggests that it's good for humans. I think it's a ham-handed attempt to suggest that exposing secrets is the best way to heal both vampires and humans. But again, what the fuck? Confusing as shit.

 

Anyway, if you read the novelization of the film, you find out that hemophages have powers, sensitivity to light, and live shorter than regular humans. You also find out that Chicago is the key location in the film. It's the place where the bowling balls attack in the beginning, where V infiltrates shit and runs around, and also where vampires were invented. Btw--I cannot suggest the novel. It's just as stupid and shitty and confusing as the movie.

[DownInTheLicoriceMines 13]

This ep has some great laughs. Howdy material. I enjoyed this movie when I first saw it a few years ago, and again when I re-watched it for this episode. Everything everyone mentioned (super bad CG, everything else) made me happy. Milla was great. Would recommend. 5 stars.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Almost done with the episode, and I’m starting to think they should have done Pixels instead.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

 

Charlize Theron, Carrie Anne Moss, Uma Thurman, Maggie Q, Angelina Jolie

 

 

Cynthia Rothrock

Ziyi Zhang

Michelle Rodriguez

Grace Jones

Bridgette Nielson

 

If you go Ziyi Zhang, may I please add Michelle Yeoh?

]

 

I love all of these additions. I wish you guys had been with me when I confronted this dude bro, who is obviously an idiot.

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Kind of related to the post above. At one point, Daxus says to Violet, "you got hemoblood on me!" The prefix hemo- means blood, so he's basically saying "you got blood blood on me." I bet he's one of those people who say "ATM machine" and "PIN number."

 

And then there's “Manos” The Hands of Fate:

“Manos” is the Spanish word for "hands"!

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

re: The final Second Opinion claim that Milla Jovovich does all her own stunts. ...

 

[iMDB photo of Milla Jovovich with a stunt double]

 

That is all.

 

You don't even have to look it up on IMDB - the end credits in the movie itself list not just 1, not even 2, but 3 stunt doubles for Jovovich:

 

Three stunt doubles! Ah ah ah!