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maggotlimbo

Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)

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Incomprehensible. Makes the first one look like Henry & June. Inexplicably directed by an FX supervisor. LITERALLY made of WTF.

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I mentioned this on another thread yesterday. It is utter garbage. Also there is a rapper playing Jax and he sucks.

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The main problem with this movie, besides everything, is that it tried too much to be a checklist for fanboys. The first movie was pretty good because it was just the major characters fighting, the basic storyline of the first game. But in between the first and second movie, Mortal Kombat had created such a backstory/mythology for itself that the movie tried to copy that which is impossible for a 90 minute movie. Then almost none of the original cast came back for the sequel along with oddball things like the orbs that people travel through the world in, the movie is perfect for the podcast, though I think there would be a lot of time spent on trying to explain the backstory in the episode.

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This movie is so bad that it's amazing. The CGI for the Animality in the final fight is hilarious!

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Nothing matched the game version or even the first film. Shao Khan at the end of the first film was sort of beastly and in this film he's just a bald dude, Brian Thompson, I believe. The acting - if you can call it that - is some of the worst I've seen save for maybe Birdemic. This would have been bad had it premired on the Sci-Fi Channel. I cannot believe this was a full-blown theatrical film. I bought the DVD some years after seeing thinking it would be fun to just to sick back and laugh at it. Sorely mistaken. It's so bad it's just bad. You can't even laugh at it.

 

And you know you're doing something wrong when you make Paul W.S. Anderson look good...

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Oh the 90's. As bad as video game movies are now, they were so much worse then.

 

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Just watched this again yesterday, right after watching "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" ... and this movie has way more twirling and flamboyant dancers. Raiden vs 3xReptiles is epic, they are clearly masters in gymkata (also, he only deals with 2...where'd the third one go?)

 

Also, the ending of MK1 has built up the emperor as the ultimate badass, and then he spends the whole movie being daddy's little failure. You'd think his plot to take over the world was to fuel his own lust for power, but it's all just to try and make rent-a-lambert proud enough to come to his tee-ball game.

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I remember this movie coming out as a kid and thinking, "so Mortal Kombat 2 was a lot better than the already-great Mortal Kombat game, so the sequel to the Mortal Kombat movie must have a corresponding increase in quality! It's only logical." One of the many disappointments Hollywood heaped upon me as a child... as opposed to, say, children in the Congo whose childhood disappointments feature becoming orphan child soldiers due to murdering bands of other child soldiers. But hey, you know, seeing bad movies sucks, you guys.

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I mentioned this on another thread yesterday. It is utter garbage. Also there is a rapper playing Jax and he sucks.

 

 

Not only that, he was an American Gladiator!

 

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So was Motaro

 

malibu.jpg

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Just watched this again yesterday, right after watching "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" ... and this movie has way more twirling and flamboyant dancers. Raiden vs 3xReptiles is epic, they are clearly masters in gymkata (also, he only deals with 2...where'd the third one go?)

 

Also, the ending of MK1 has built up the emperor as the ultimate badass, and then he spends the whole movie being daddy's little failure. You'd think his plot to take over the world was to fuel his own lust for power, but it's all just to try and make rent-a-lambert proud enough to come to his tee-ball game.

 

Yeah, the first film took some "creative liscence" with the first game. The second film was a hodge-podge of 2, 3 and 4, and just made it's own shit up, and it was so bad, it was laughable.

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Bumping this because now that they've watched the first Mortal Kombat the sequel MUST BE DONE.

 

I have a fondness for the first movie. It isn't by any standards good, but it was one of the first game-to-film translations that wasn't the worst thing ever. Goofy, and badly scripted, but fun with some engaging fight scenes. Plus I thought for the time the effects and costumes were pretty decent.

 

The sequel (which I watched again this past week) is so fucking insane that it's hard to understand HOW it managed to be what it was following the first movie. Not only did it have a BIGGER budget, but it was riding the success of its predecessor which means that it should have been at least on par with the first movie. IN ANY WAY. BUT IT ISN'T.

 

It has some of the worst CGI I've seen in a feature film, especially when you consider the fact that it was released in the same year as movies such as The Fifth Element, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Men in Black, and fucking TITANIC. To make a character appear to do a flip the film uses no less than 4 camera angles to pull off the visual trickery, the costumes look like shitty plastic knockoffs found in stores that are only open during the two months preceding Halloween, and the dialogue is worse than early-90s fansub anime.

 

There is no redeeming quality in this movie save for that it is so bad it is nearly unbelievable. Even the most devoted Mortal Kombat fanatic hates this film.

 

If you want a treat, read the Goofs portion of IMDB regarding Mortal Kombat Annihilation.

 

When a movie's goofs feature more than three instances of "visible wires" you know it is bad.

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If you can't even get Christopher Lambert to be in your film you should just give up, that should be some kind of a rule.

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If I remember correctly (and I don't apologize at all if I'm wrong), the villains spend a LOT of time just monologuing like motherfuckers.

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This is true, and they also spend a lot of time killing one another as well. Or at least trying to kill one another.

 

Shao Khan kills Rain

Sheeva tries to kill Motaro

Sub-Zero and Scorpion fight

 

One thing I noticed is that a lot of characters are introduced and then get beaten and die and you NEVER KNOW THEIR NAMES. I mean, people who played the games know, but the following characters just show up, fight, and at no point does anyone introduce them nor do they introduce themselves:

 

- Scorpion

- Ermac (I think)

- Mileena

- Cyrax

- Noob Saibot

- Baraka(s)

- Smoke (I think)

 

So bad.

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This is true, and they also spend a lot of time killing one another as well. Or at least trying to kill one another.

 

Shao Khan kills Rain

Sheeva tries to kill Motaro

Sub-Zero and Scorpion fight

 

Speaking of that, and the fact that everyone gets like maybe three minutes to get their shit in before never being seen again, they make it a point to say that yes, Sub-Zero was killed in the first one, but that this is his brother. The guy's like "What? Oh yeah, he's dead, but I'm his brother. Bob-Zero, nice to meet you" (I COULD be paraphrasing) before disappearing completely. I think this movie was followed by a TV show that I can't BELIEVE ran for a full season, but I can't imagine that they bothered to follow up on the what-the-fuckery that this movie presented.

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Speaking of that, and the fact that everyone gets like maybe three minutes to get their shit in before never being seen again, they make it a point to say that yes, Sub-Zero was killed in the first one, but that this is his brother. The guy's like "What? Oh yeah, he's dead, but I'm his brother. Bob-Zero, nice to meet you" (I COULD be paraphrasing) before disappearing completely. I think this movie was followed by a TV show that I can't BELIEVE ran for a full season, but I can't imagine that they bothered to follow up on the what-the-fuckery that this movie presented.

 

Well, that happened in the games, Scorpion killed Sub Zero, so his younger brother assumed the Sub Zero moniker. Sub Zero was then resurrected by Quan Chi as Noob Saibot.

 

However, this movie didn't bother explaining ANY of that, it's just "Shove as many guys as we can in here, fuck any kind of story or exposition, here's Sub Zero again".

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Well, that happened in the games, Scorpion killed Sub Zero, so his younger brother assumed the Sub Zero moniker. Sub Zero was then resurrected by Quan Chi as Noob Saibot.

 

However, this movie didn't bother explaining ANY of that, it's just "Shove as many guys as we can in here, fuck any kind of story or exposition, here's Sub Zero again".

 

It's like the writers were just sitting in a room, and occasionally one would call their 13-year-old kid for fact checking.

 

Writer: "Hey, so who is the blue guy again?"

Child: "That's Sub-Zero, but he died in the first movie! Liu Kang had this radical fight scene and he got the water an..."

Writer: "Yeah, sure, shit, we have 3 minutes of film time to kill and I really wanted to plug that hole with another poorly-costumed ninja..."

Child: "Well Sub-Zero has a brother who can do the same stuff! Except he doesn't wear a mask and he has this wicked red scar across his eye and he is out for veng..."

Writers: "Perfect, golden, put your mom back on the phone."

 

Also, I am so intensely confused as to the geography of this movie. Where...where are they? We know that Liu Kang goes to the Hopi Desert at some point, so he is in Colorado, but where are Jax and Sonya? He is in some sort of (empty) laboratory in the desert, and they walk around a barren landscape for a while, and then everyone meets up at what appears to be the temple from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?

 

*nose bleed*

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It's like the writers were just sitting in a room, and occasionally one would call their 13-year-old kid for fact checking.

 

Writer: "Hey, so who is the blue guy again?"

Child: "That's Sub-Zero, but he died in the first movie! Liu Kang had this radical fight scene and he got the water an..."

Writer: "Yeah, sure, shit, we have 3 minutes of film time to kill and I really wanted to plug that hole with another poorly-costumed ninja..."

Child: "Well Sub-Zero has a brother who can do the same stuff! Except he doesn't wear a mask and he has this wicked red scar across his eye and he is out for veng..."

Writers: "Perfect, golden, put your mom back on the phone."

 

Also, I am so intensely confused as to the geography of this movie. Where...where are they? We know that Liu Kang goes to the Hopi Desert at some point, so he is in Colorado, but where are Jax and Sonya? He is in some sort of (empty) laboratory in the desert, and they walk around a barren landscape for a while, and then everyone meets up at what appears to be the temple from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?

 

*nose bleed*

 

I think this is the closest explanation they could provide:

 

"Fuck it, this is all Outworld!"

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Speaking of that, and the fact that everyone gets like maybe three minutes to get their shit in before never being seen again, they make it a point to say that yes, Sub-Zero was killed in the first one, but that this is his brother. The guy's like "What? Oh yeah, he's dead, but I'm his brother. Bob-Zero, nice to meet you" (I COULD be paraphrasing) before disappearing completely. I think this movie was followed by a TV show that I can't BELIEVE ran for a full season, but I can't imagine that they bothered to follow up on the what-the-fuckery that this movie presented.

That tv show was actually epic. It was a prequel to both movies and was awesome! Should've ran for many more seasons than one.

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tumblr_mp1s2sYRrt1qcga5ro1_500.gif

 

This movie has a unique and complex at mother-daughter relationships, that was lacking in the first Mortal Kombat. It's basically Gilmore Girls.

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