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I was actually thinking that at first but thought maybe it was too weird. BRAIN TWINS! I didn't go the black magic route I just assumed she was like an immortal being which is why she couldn't take her kid with her. So she popped back into his life did NOT like what she saw and decided to ground him . God what I would have given for a scene where he petulantly screamed something about her not being his real parent/ her not having the authority to punish him . I like your idea much more though.

Cant wait, the episode has already been recorded and reports from around the time say that it was “funny”.

Like Snorks?

What if the movie ended with us watching her high heels get off the elevator, stop in front of his desk, and then, from off screen, you hear Anchor Dad say, “Beverly?” Credits.

Not to mix Disney classics but if Kyle is going to buy Lindy's love why doesn't he pull an Aladdin and take her on a trip somewhere? It would get him out of the city which his dad clearly wants and they clearly can afford it. Hell he knows how oddly obsessed she is with Machu Picchu, take her to South America! I feel like she would love that more than she would candy. I mean I love candy but if I was forced into this kind of weird living situation I'd definitely choose a trip somewhere over fucking Swedish Fish or whatever it was. Not only is it a way for him to show he knows her but the two could bond on the trip. Budget wise I understand why they don't do that but they could have them prepare for a big trip THEN have her dad od the day they were supposed to leave. It would show how selfless Kyle had become (really like the bare minimum in that situation) if he were to insist they not go and instead whisk her off to her dad instead of just putting her on a train after a day at the lake house. It gives it more stakes.

I'd just like to point out that while it might be horribly impractical, it would technically be possible to drive from New York to Machu Picchu. Peru is in South America, so you wouldn't have to cross any oceans. The only thing I questioned was crossing the Panama Canal, but it appears there have been two working road bridges across that since 2003. All clear for the bus to Machu Picchu!

I love it! I don’t want to step on your toes, but how do you feel about this: what if Kendra was his mom? She leaves because she’s fed up with their nonsense, dives into black magic, and glamours herself to look like a teenager. This might explain her fixation with Kyle and his father...

I loved the cuckoo bananas progression of Lindy and “Hunter’s” meet up. When she first arrives, Lindy yells into the house that she’ll “tase” him if he comes near her. After this, “Hunter” brings her supper and attempts to explain what’s going on, and she tells him to fuck right the Hell off. Then, weeks later, she just casually walks in on him while he’s watching Korean television and is like, “So are we ever going to meet or what?” I also thought it was funny that when he brings her dinner, she steadfastly refuses to open the door for him, but the next couple of times he knocks, she opens the door within seconds, and he scurries away. It’s like the movie suddenly forgot who was avoiding whom.

You know what I found distracting? The way the prosthetic didn’t quite get attached to his face in the corner of his right eye. Sometimes due to the lighting you could see a big gap there. Should’ve filled the space with more silver caulk.

Space: the final paywall

I feel like that was written by a person who loves to brag about how they "Tell it like it is" and will be an asshole but excuse it by saying "Hey I'm just being honest!" Or some similar bullshit.

A noseless smurf is nightmare fuel.

All of the dialogue in the movie is crap, from the insults to the compliments. Lindy's speech at the Halloween party is one of the worst offenders. I get that she's the type of person would want to treat everyone--even mean people--with kindness, and that she tries to see the best in people. But to say "that guy's horrible but he speaks his mind" doesn't stop the person from being horrible. The Belle analogs are always represented as being kind and smart, and you can tell they were trying to go for that with Lindy but everything the writers made her say makes her seem naive and stupid. But also Vanessa Hudgens was definitely drunk during that Halloween scene, right?

You know something’s been bugging me and it just occurred to me that they gave the smurfs in this movie eyelashes and hair and tiny pecs and made them more lifelike, but they don’t have fucking nostrils. Like, their noses are just these blue face bumps that serve no real purpose, except maybe eskimo kisses?

Again this is where I get confused about things that happened in the movie. Was Kendra there to put a curse on him, or would that just naturally happen because of the way he is? Kyle never told Kendra about his father, so why is she going after him? Kyle bullied her for most likely a long time in school before she cursed him. So after a year and after he learns his lesson she's going after the father because she realized that's where he got it from? Yet the curse on Kyle seemingly stemmed from their antagonizing relationship. It just seems like an odd jump. Or is it merely a coincidence that she's going to intern at the station and happens to work for Kyle's father who is just as shallow and vain? I'm only curious because if she knows it is Kyle's dad and gives him the same curse, with Kyle in his new state wouldn't forgiveness, understanding and helpfulness towards his father be expected and thus the curse lifted quickly?

They fact that Kyle’s mother abandoned him is painted as this tragic event in his life, but has anyone considered that maybe she had to just get herself out of what was most likely a living nightmare? Maybe she just couldn’t take the lack of attention and Kyle’s father’s unrealistic demands anymore. There’s nothing in the movie to suggest that Kyle’s father became the douche he is now because she left. Maybe she saw what a terrible person he was, and saw that her son was falling in lock-step behind him, and was like, “Nope. I’m out.” Also, minor quibble, but the gang suggested that Zola was at least partially to blame for how Kyle turned out because she helped raise him, but she says in the movie that she hasn’t seen her 6-year-old child for “half his life.” That means, at most, she’s only been with Kyle and his father for three years - not since childhood. She probably didn’t even meet him until he was 13 or 14. That’s plenty of time for a spoiled little monster to get set in his ways. I’m not really sure how much influence she’s expected to have at that point - positive or otherwise. (Also, I got the vibe she was more of a housekeeper than an au pair, but I could be wrong about that.)

At one point, Lindy tells Hunter that one of the things she respected the most about Kyle was: "...he called things like he saw them, even if he did see them wrong." But...that's insane, right? Sure, being forthright is admirable, but it's not like he was this lone, brave voice speaking out against injustice or something. He was using his popularity to publicly bully kids that didn't fit his standard of beauty. That's not admirable, that's fucking deplorable! She might as well be saying: "That person is saying the most vilely racist shit I've ever heard, but hey, you've got to respect them for speaking their truth, right?" That's bonkers! Is that really the kind honesty that should be respected, Lindy, or is it possible that the writers were so desperate to come up with a reason for your character to be attracted to Kyle (that wasn't based exclusively on his looks) that they made your character say some truly crazy bullshit?

I completely agree with you, and this is another thing that handled better in the novel. In the book, Kyle caught Lindy’s dad breaking into the mansion and the greenhouse and, like the original versions of the story, makes him pay back him back by giving up his daughter. But more importantly, Kyle actually cares about Lindy at this point because he’s been watching her through a magic mirror Kendra gave him. So he has already learned about what she likes and how she spends her time. (Again we all know kidnapping, stalking, and voyuerism is problematic.) When it comes to Will and the housekeeper (her name is Magda in the book) they’re okay with it because at this point there’s already been significant change to how he was before. I think Lindy came to stay with him one year into a two year curse, so that’s a whole year he’s had to become a better person. The housekeeper is fine with it because we find out later she’s Kendra in disguise, trying to guide Kyle in the right direction. And Will is aware of the curse, and while he probably doesn’t believe it, he can clearly tell how depressed and hopeless Kyle has gotten and how excited the prospect of Lindy coming has made him. So really the only adult who would have an issue with it most likely went along with it to help Kyle out, as he was already grown as a person. And like they would’ve heard Kyle mention Lindy by now. They knew he never had nefarious motvies.

100% All this guy ever did was for himself and to get his dashing good looks (was he that attractive?) back. None of his gifts or his wooing was about making her happy. Even with all Kyle's stalking he didn't take the time to get to know her and only talked about himself and how ugly he must seem to everyone. Even after she said "I love you" to him, I felt just this creepy sense that he only tricked her into it and I never got the feeling he had any genuine, non-stalkery-y feelings for this girl. She was a conquest, a goal. I did not like the dynamics of the stalking, the kidnapping, the lying, and this is supposed to be romance? Pass.

I about lost my mind when the opening song is just the word "vanity" over and over as he works out and then it cuts to building-sized ads featuring statuesque models. Let's not forget that in the book it's revealed that the housekeeper was actually Kendra in disguise the whole time, basically watching over Kyle to see if he was truly changing his ways. And the only reason that the book takes over two years is because Kendra saw him take a picture with Lindy at the dance and felt that was enough to warrant him getting a bigger chance at redemption. Also was Kendra just wearing wigs everywhere? In one scene she has the big blonde up-do with streaks in it, then it's a short bob that is jet black, and then what is meant to be the very next day she's back to long, blonde, and wavy.

Okay, okay okay... 1. What's ultimately in it for Kendra/The Witch for her to do what she does in this movie? Yes, Kyle is a shallow and vociferous douche bag, but how would his winning the presidency of the green ...initiative (?) really effect her life? He gives his speech to the school, she vandalizes his many, many campaign posters. Okay, tit for tat. When he tries to humiliate her at the school dance (taking place at a trendy New York bar for no reason), she doesn't seem particularly bothered by it, like, at all. Later, when "Hunter" is trying to find Kendra to reverse the spell, he tracks her down at the high school's Halloween block party, where she's just hanging out and dancing around like it ain't no thing. For a supposed outcast, she doesn't seem to be uncomfortable zipping in and out of the school's socials functions. Her character comes across as the being who knows the full extent of her supernatural powers and, because of that knowledge, has no absolutely fucks to give: casting this spell/curse on Kyle and behaving the petty manner she does seems like a complete waste of her time and powers. Had she been portrayed as being bullied, harassed or maligned for being different, that would give her motive and the movie stakes. But, she's lashing-out at one guy in her school (who is, admittedly a prick, but not really a serious threat to her at all) and using her considerable powers to teach him (and, as implied at the end of the film, his father) a lesson makes her unsympathetic: she has nothing to gain and no real wrongs to reverse. I'd argue that Kendra acting upon her petty whims makes her the bully/antagonist of the film, not Kyle. 2. On that note: to lift the curse, Kyle, a thoughtless asshole who puts more stock into one's physical appearance than the content of their character, has to convince someone to love him in spite of the marring of tattoos, open (yet bloodless) wounds, nose boils, and solder scoring to lift the curse Kendra put on him (seriously, she should have instead just turn Kyle into a middle-aged schlub, transported him to L.A. and wish him luck with). Why condemn some hapless innocent into this game or ridicule and retribution? If Kendra's plan is to make petty jerks learn to be better people, why not go after bigger game (cough *Trump* cough) and do so without manipulating the emotions of an additional person who's oblivious to what's actually going on and can potentially get their heart broken? Kendra is a thoughtless asshole. 3. Rather than setting him up at Brooklyn brownstone, why doesn't Kyle's father just hide the now-deformed son he's ashamed of at the much more secluded cabin-mansion upstate? 4. Lindy's reaction to Kyle/Hunter at the end of this film should have been, "What. The. FUCK, Kyle?!? You're Hunter? You blackmailed my father into sending me to live with you?? And magic is real??? I can't fuckin' process any of this shit right now!" Which is then immediately followed by her running away from Kyle in any direction as fast as she can. 5. Frank O'Hara's "Sharing A Coke with You" may be a celebrated and beloved poem (right?), but does its inclusion in this film feel like blatant product placement for Coca-Cola to anyone else?

The book Beastly, by Alex Flinn, has actually been one of my favorites since I read it in high school. I've read it multiple times, not because it's the greatest ever, but because--as June said in the show-- it's just a fun book. I've also seen the movie before, when it first came out and was disappointed because of the NUMEROUS IMPORTANT CHANGES. First of all, Kyle in the book is turned into a literal beast much like in previous adaptations. He has animalistic features and is covered in fur that instantly grows back if he tries to get rid it. He's literally a monster, and he pretty much spirals into a severe depression. I'm assuming they changed his beastly appearance for the movie to make the film seem less dark or campy and to pander to the Twilight audience. (This was, after all, a pre Shape of Water world.) Also names actually are important in the novel, and the movie even changed his name for no reason. At one point in the novel, Kyle finds out his name means "handsome" and decides to change it to Adrian, which means "dark one." But in the movie they made his name Hunter because . . . Lindy would recognize the name Kyle? Hunter just means "hunter," so did they make that his name because he stalks her? Because it sounds cooler than Adrian? Magic is much more prevalent in the book. Kendra gives Kyle a magic mirror that--much like in the Disney version--allows him to see to the outside world just by saying a person or place's name. Kyle eventually uses this mirror to watch Lindy and learn about her interests once she is set to live with him. And yes, it's voyeuristic, but that's much better than physically stalking. Kendra is an immortal witch and can make herself appear however she wants, and in the novel we find out that she's actually the housekeeper in disguise. And the keyword in Kendra's curse was "beastly," a word that is never uttered once in the film despite the title. But honestly if something doesn't make sense in the story, just chalk it up to magic. The curse lasted two years in the book, instead of one. He started his tutoring with Will long before Lindy got there, and they would read about different literary monsters. Kyle and Lindy studied Shakespearean sonnets about beauty on their first day of class so I have no idea why they would read that "Having a Coke with You" poem. And the deleted ending is more in line with what happens in the book, which is why I think it's a better ending. I think the only thing the movie got 100% right was NPH as the tutor.

Is this woman on the far right side supposed to be in a Belle costume? I thought it might be Dorothy from Wizard Of Oz because of the red shoes but this has to be intentional right?

that makes me feel like there some staff on this movie who were consciously sabotaging it from the inside

Here's a Spotify playlist commemorating Adam's wedding mix: