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Click clack?! The Boys are back! Clem and Ku?! HAYES THERE TOO!

Pictured: Classed-up iguana porn My guess is, she was supposed to be part of the Super Mario Bros movie as a Koopa Troopa love interest but got written out for being too garish. Tell me you couldn't picture it:

Haiku about this episode: Wrong number, Right laugh

Two things, one, for me easily the best moment of the movie was Lou's silent "wows" and his face as they are hurtling through space. Second, to expand about the iguana costume I think a lot of these costumes got classed up from the adult version ones they made. I'm pretty sure Cassiopeia was just clam shells and a thong and the shredded rags were added in after. Also if you notice Daedalus's sexy iguana costume had larger covers for the private bits over a body suit. Something tells me that body suit wasn't always there.

I figured we’d get a Minotaur, too! When you think this movie is going to zig, it spins around in circle and craps it’s pants. Do you think the sexy iguana costume was a holdover from when the movie was supposed to be a porn? Although, Inprefer the idea that it was made for another movie as I would love to see it. Also, it’s great to have you back Trip!

I have to admit, I was kind of annoyed when Hercules requested Circe to expend her powers to just tie a rope, but I felt better when she made him exert the extra effort to throw them both across the galaxy just for her to tell him that she can’t help him and he has to continue the journey on his own. Touché, Circe.

I know this has been mentioned, but since you bring up Daedalus again, I don't understand why they did what they did with Daedalus' character other than they had a sexy disco iguana goddess costume and had to use it because of union rules or something. But also, does anyone else think that they missed a huge opportunity, since they were dealing with King Minos and the labyrinth, to bring in the minotaur? Since aside from trapping Daedalus and Icarus in the labyrinth, Minos' whole deal was that he controlled the minotaur but it ended up killing and eating him in the end. Daedalus created the minotaur, so it could've even been one of those stupid robots.

Somehow, "Amazon" is the perfect name of a place to buy Greek mythology stuff. Also, how dare you besmirch Harryhausen so casually! My childhood demands satisfaction!

Yeah, but according to the movie, killing babies is actually a reward and (maybe) a step toward promotion. I feel like Greek Soldier #4 missed the opportunity to become Greek Soldier #3...

In Greek Soldier #4's defense the river would have taken care of baby Hercules if not for Zeus's puppet handed intervention. He might have known that the river leads to a giant waterfall and thought to himself "Do I really want my best archer to have to live with the guilt of murdering a baby?" Imagine the next time they are ransacking a city and the archer pulls back to take aim at the opposing General only to hear a baby crying from a burning building nearby. Suddenly his conscience kicks in and he feels a pang of guilt for murdering an innocent baby all those years prior. That split second of hesitation and doubt is the entire turning point of that battle. Greek Soldier #4 knew that could a possibility and decided to let nature take care of that baby.

Speaking of dumbass decisions destined to bite you in the ass, one of my favorite moments was when an archer takes aim at baby Hercules in his boat, and Minos stays his hand insisting that, “The river will take care of it.” I mean, yeah, but if it’s really that important to you, don’t you want to be sure? The best part is that the movie then cuts over to the boat spinning sluggishly in what appears to be an extremely shallow stream. It actually looks like it might be caught on the bank of the opposite shore. I mean, I’m not advocating for infanticide, but for the price of a cheap pair of boots you could easily wade on over there and take care of this thing once and for all.

Personally, I thought the movie was pretty much flawless, and I simply can’t fathom anyone’s issue with it, but... if there was one thing that I simply couldn’t wrap my head around, it was why the Hell King Minos would send Daedalus home. I totally get that up to that point Daedalus’ mechanized monstrosities have had a less than stellar track record physically stopping Herc, but you may still want to rely on her ingenuity and expertise. Herc has pretty much beaten every single obstacle you’ve thrown at him, so maybe now isn’t the time to get cocky. That being said, what really bothers me is the reason Minos gives Daedalus for no longer requiring her services is that Hercules is about to enter his island labyrinth and he considers him pretty much doomed. Now, I don’t know about you, but if I were Daedalus, I would be fuck-ing pissed! You mean to tell me that I put all this work into creating killer, misfit toys for you when you had a surefire death trap waiting here for him the entire time? What’s even the fucking point? Why are you dragging me out of my chaos dimension? If you were so bloody confident in you hoity-toity maze of murder, then your entire evil scheme might as well have been “wait here, do nothing.”

So, so painful. We must hear your take on this wretched film.

I looked at the master list of movies they’ve done and was about to admit that JerryCanada was right about them not doing anything pre-1980, and then I started finding plenty of them after roughly the time his post was made. Zardoz, Star Wars Holiday Special, Hercules in New York, etc. Seems like they prefer “newer” movies a bit, but they do make plenty of exceptions nowadays. I say do this one for sure!

I agree. This movie seems to be made using a guide called How To Ruin a Movie Spectacularly. Take the Beatles songs. Now force people to compare the near flawless originals to these subpar versions by middle of the road singers, and non-singers. Heck, let a robot sing too. You know how people hate talking in movies? Don't have to watch any of that pesky dialogue. Many scenes (especially Steve Martin's Maxwell Silver Hammer) are clearly trying to capitalize on the style of Rocky Horror Picture Show, and paling in comparison to that as well.

How have they not done this yet?

I was getting ready to start a new post of this, but found this one already in existence. This movie defies explanation, yet it's still hilarious to watch. There are so many things that are wrong or confusing with this film, but what other movie in history has put George Burns, Steve Martin, and Aerosmith together? I would love to hear this movie critiqued on the show. By the way, jarrycanada, I think you meant the Bee Gees, not the Beagles.

May I ask a question: Have you guys really watched this movie, all the way to the end? I've tried to watch this movie so many times and I can never got to the ending. it's really that fucking bad. it's on cable tv all the time and I've got it on my PVR but it's painfully bad. I don't think I've even made it past the 20 min mark. at first when I tried to watch it, ike you guys I was thinking of this show and how it would be perfect but I tried watching it and its so fucking painful to watch. Plus it's earlier then 1980s so it may never get done because as you all may have noticed, paul and the gang don't do pre 1980s movies, don't believe me look at the list... anyway, Here is my working theories about this film. this movie is a fuck you to The Beatles like "Staying Alive" is to the Beagles. I say that because by not using there music in a way that you would think of. you think of the Beatles when you think of Sergent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club but you're not going to get The Beatles you get the Beagles. and in Staying Alive it's marketed as a Beagles movie or so you would think but it's all Frank Stallone music. Maybe just maybe The Beagles got thinking hey lets fuck someone else music up like Frank Stallone did ours. that's my unproven conspiracy theories.. anyway I would sure love to know how the fuck Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band movie got made but I am not sure i could watch the movie.

This was tailor made for HDTGM. It's got famous people embarrassing themselves, non-sensical plotlines, bizzarre designs, great hair... and I can't wait for June to defend Robin Gibb's version of "Oh Darlin." This is a great choice.

This movie is amazingly bad. It would be great to have this HDTGM'ed.

There actually hasn't been much of that special pure-product-of-its-time insanity that led to films like this on HDTGM, at least from the 60s and 70s. I endorse this being examined.

This movie begs to be a HDTGM pick. It's inexplicable. It's as if someone thought "We have the music of the Beatles and we have the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton. That's all we need for a hit movie." Here are some high(low)lights: The movie has no spoken dialogue. In fact, the only person who talks in the movie is George Burns who provides some narration. The movie has basically no plot. Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees play a band that makes it big in Pepperland. Mean Mr. Mustard steals some kind of magical instruments from Pepperland and dsitributes them to different villains. The Bee Gees and Peter Frampton have to retrieve them. They do. When they are retrieving the last instrument, well, I won't spoil it. Nah, I guess I will... When they are retrieving the last instrument, Peter Frampton's girlfriend, Strawberry Fields, gets knocked down during a struggle and falls to her death. Everybody mourns. Then Billy Preston (because they couldn't get a real Beatle) shows up, sings "Get Back" and brings her back to life. For some reason, the producers felt they needed to shoehorn every song from the Beatles's Sgt Pepper album into the storyline. The problem? The songs of Sgt. Pepper have no connecting story. It's pretty hamfisted. Also, some of the performances are truly nutty. For instance, Steve Martin plays one of the "villains" in possession of Pepperland's instruments. He plays some kind of plastic surgeon who taps people on the head with a littel hammer and instantly transforms them. He performs Maxwell's Silver Hammer, which, other than the chorus seems to have nothing to do with his scene. He also performs it in full 70s "Wild and Crazy Guy" mode with really strange phrasing and spastic movement. It's really, really bad, but watchably bad.

This film is a HDTGM MUST! I know it's a 1970s rock opera-style fantasy, but was ANYONE not high during the entire production? Pre- and post-? I agree it's extremely painful to watch, but it's a good pain. Please discuss!!!

Right on. Excellent pick.

Certain interns may or may not love this movie bunches. Possibly. Let's not pretend that Fixing a Hole has ever been performed better than by George Burns. Also, the whole I Want You sequence is pretty radtown. But yeah, that movie is awful. I love it, but it's awful.