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Episode 94 — Glitter: LIVE!

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A person who goes apoplectic in response to a perceived slight and engages in a series of abusive, totally disproportionate personal attacks? From Reddit? Inconceivable!

 

#NotAllMen

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A person who goes apoplectic in response to a perceived slight and engages in a series of abusive, totally disproportionate personal attacks? From Reddit? Inconceivable!

 

#NotAllMen

 

But Dan, might I remind you as the person whose post was quoted in the original deleted Fervel post (you're all welcome-btw), that this, the Official Earwolf forum for the podcast, is merely "redundant" to the subreddit.

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Well Fervel is lucky everyone else got here before I did and his post gets to stay up.

 

But he's banned now because I have one fucking rule here. Don't be antagonizing or insulting to Earwolf staff or guests. That's literally all I ask. There are so many ways to express your dislike of something that don't include calling people names.

 

I didn't delete his original complaint, but I did delete a post on this thread from someone else that was an angry rant against June for existing. These forums are a nice place, and lots of hosts and guests participate in them. I will not let them turn into a youtube comment section and if that makes me a fascist shitbird then FINE.

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I will not let them turn into a youtube comment section and if that makes me a fascist shitbird then FINE.

 

As someone who has met Shannon in real life I can attest that she (and I assume all of the other mods) are in fact, not fascist shitbirds. Just pleasant people who have a job to do and don't appreciate internet crazies making their job harder than it already is.

 

OK so I'll stop adding to the derailment. Anyone else got a good bit about jerking off raw chicken for LOL?

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To bring it back to the movie, and I apologize in advance for this being my 4th or 5th post on it (I keep thinking it's been purged only to get a full bukkake blast of it's stupidity on my mind-face.)

 

Does anyone else want to talk about what a bitch Glitter is to her friends? They are in a limo and Dice calls one of her friends a fat ass and the other a Rat Bag. These are her oldest friends in the world and have shown her nothing but unconditional support since the moment they found out she was "mixed." Yet, when Dice verbally assaults them, aside from trying--in an extremely feeble manner--to apologize for his being drunk, she does nothing! They get out of the limo and she just looks at them like, "I guess you bitches are gonna be walking tonight." Frankly, I am relieved they made it home safely...

 

What would it have hurt her to show them a little solidarity? It has already been established that the label is ready to drop Dice, so it isn't like her success is riding on him. He's got a safe ride home in the limo, so there is no risk of him getting a DUI or being in an accident. If she had just gotten her stupid, apathetic ass out and gotten a cab with her friends, one of two things would probablyhave happened:

 

1) She meets him at home later and they talk about his behavior, y'know like mature adults would, at which point he would apologize (on or off screen, I don't care) to her and her friends. This might not exactly be riveting entertainment, but then again, what about this movie was? Or...

 

2) They break up and she loses the producer of her single song. This of course wouldn't be a huge loss as the record company already thinks his other songs are garbage and they have already taken the liberty of hiring her a new lover.

 

And I don't want to hear that she punks out on her friends because she and Dice are "in love" as there is literally nothing in the movie to support this.

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As someone who has met Shannon in real life I can attest that she (and I assume all of the other mods) are in fact, not fascist shitbirds. Just pleasant people who have a job to do and don't appreciate internet crazies making their job harder than it already is.

 

OK so I'll stop adding to the derailment. Anyone else got a good bit about jerking off raw chicken for LOL?

 

I think all the mods have been great, as have all the other people I have encountered on this site. Just a bunch of friendly, funny people as far as I can tell.

 

As for LOL, check out the subforum "Bad Movie Recommendations." Trust me, we've talked about it. Lots of funny stuff there!

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For real though, guys, the audio during the chicken masturbation scene better be FLAWLESS, or else I'm SO going to go on a rant on LiveJournal, and I'm going to post so much blinky and flashy shit on your MySpace page that you'll go blind and never use it again.

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I feel like such an idiot. I listened to the podcast and got like halfway through it then decided I needed to watch the movie. I got about 45 minutes into Glitter before I realized they weren't talking about Andrew Dice Clay. Then I was sad the last half of the movie thinking what could've been.

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I'm sure this has been mentioned already, but just in case;

 

It should be noted that the Yamaha keyboard featured in this shitty, shitty movie is none other than the legendary Yamaha DX7.

 

A game changing digital synthesizer that revolutionized FM synthesis. It is widely regarded (by me) as the cheesiest sounding synth from the 80s.

 

One of the DX7's most notable sounds is that weird 'not-quite-a-piano' from; pop songs, and disney 'ending-credit-songs' from the 90s... Terrible.

 

Known for its confounding control panel, watching someone try to tickle the non-ivory of this plastic shit-box is about as sexy as looking at a bag of fertilizer.

 

All and all it's a pretty good gift, but I'd get a Jupiter 8, or even a Juno 6... But I'm an analog man myself.

 

Love you guys,

 

- TVTA

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anyone who's needs to fill that Jason & June void, check out the episode of the League that just aired... it was a Cuckoo's Nest flavored prequel to the Rafi & Dirty Randy episode last season.

 

 

if nothing else, watch it to see a beardless Zouks... it's a sight to behold.

 

2n827u0.png

This episode was comedic gold, but Jason without a beard is just not right.

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To bring it back to the movie, and I apologize in advance for this being my 4th or 5th post on it (I keep thinking it's been purged only to get a full bukkake blast of more of it's stupidity on my mind-face.)

 

Does anyone else want to talk about what a bitch Glitter is to her friends?

 

Not only that, but she eventually burns her friends to side with Dice, and gets lost in her success and basically drops them...until Dice and her break up, in which case she shows up at their door crying to be all "Hey girls, time to make your stupid lives all about me again!"

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I will not let them turn into a youtube comment section and if that makes me a fascist shitbird then FINE.

 

This is what has made me enjoy these forums so much, in that they are a basic oasis within the vast desert of internet shit. Places like Youtube and IMDB are just vile shitstorms of douchebags, while this place outside of a couple trolls in the past has been a true rarity on the internet.

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This is a Correction:

 

At the beginning of every live episode, Paul says something like, "OK guys, this is a live episode so there will be some audio issues and maybe some visual elements. DEAL WITH IT!"

 

Indeed. Are their any people who actually complain about the live episodes? I love the change in energy they bring, the audience interaction, and the different sort of riffing that goes on between the hosts. I realize there are sometimes audio issues or that the listener might miss out on something like a spontaneous audience dance orgy (e.g. Staying Alive), but if you make it a habit of complaining about live HDTGM episodes, let me correct you by saying: Shut the fuck up and enjoy it.

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Hey I've been reading a lot of harsh criticism about the sound quality, and I just wanted to clarify some things.

 

First, calm down. Jesus. Glad you care so much, but...wow.

 

Second, July literally got one cable, a board mix plugged straight into his recorder. There was nothing for us to "mix". It came in sounding more or less exactly as it does now. There is no magical "take out all the distorted yelling-straight-into-the-mic" tool. There is no magical "make the audience sound like they have mics on" tool. The waveform was basically brickwalled to begin with. Compressing it more than we did would've made the distorted parts sound even worse. Is it as good as it can possibly be if I put 12 hours into it? No, but it's probably 95%. It's basically polishing a turd.

 

So, sorry it sounded that way, I really am. It's a mix of factors, including screaming into the mics, Largo not compensating for that, and possibly the recorder being set wrong, but I doubt it. I wasn't there. But it's certainly not crappy "mixing" on our end like a few people have asserted. I would have hoped we'd earned a little benefit of the doubt on that.

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Indeed. Are their any people who actually complain about the live episodes? I love the change in energy they bring, the audience interaction, and the different sort of riffing that goes on between the hosts. I realize there are sometimes audio issues or that the listener might miss out on something like a spontaneous audience dance orgy (e.g. Staying Alive), but if you make it a habit of complaining about live HDTGM episodes, let me correct you by saying: Shut the fuck up and enjoy it.

I'm with you - I love the live episodes for exactly those reasons. Also, the sound quality doesn't seem THAT bad to me. I can generally understand what everyone is saying, which is really all I'm looking for. I listen on my iPhone and in my car, and I've never had difficulty understanding what is going on. It kind of seems like people might be looking for reasons to complain. About the free entertainment that arrives in their homes as if by magic.

 

Back to "Glitter" - I've been trying to figure out how to articulate this for a couple days. The All-Stars mentioned that it seems like Billie has no passion for the music business, but it seemed like more than that to me. I can't remember a main character in a movie who has as little motivation or drive as she does. She just goes with happens near her. Gig as a backup singer/dancer - falls into her lap. Manager/boyfriend - he chases her into the street as she leaves the club, so ok. Record label - she wants to sign with the first one that shows up, but her manager/bf makes her wait for the 2nd label that shows interest. So none of the plot of the movie is driven by her. The one thing that she KIND OF seems to care about is finding her mother, but she makes one attempt and then gives up, while Dice somehow magically finds her. Then she falls asleep in the back of a limo and arrives at her mother's house. There's just no effort - she doesn't even have to work on her singing or learn to write songs or anything. Just innate talent. I don't see how anyone could feel anything for the character, because she's just a blank slate that is handed fame & a career.

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Indeed. Are their any people who actually complain about the live episodes? I love the change in energy they bring, the audience interaction, and the different sort of riffing that goes on between the hosts. I realize there are sometimes audio issues or that the listener might miss out on something like a spontaneous audience dance orgy (e.g. Staying Alive), but if you make it a habit of complaining about live HDTGM episodes, let me correct you by saying: Shut the fuck up and enjoy it.

 

Apparently so...

 

I mean, someone on this forum may or may not have said something like, "Hey, it's free, the sound's not that bad (at all, even before whatever July did), just enjoy it." And someone else may or may not have blown a fucking fuse, and may or may not have said such nuggets of wisdom like, "A kick in the balls is free too, doesn't mean I have to like it."* This person then may or may not have gone on to verbally abuse nice people for just doing their job of making this a fun place to visit. Allegedly, of course. This may or may not have happened.

 

And just to explain something to anyone lame enough to use the specious "A kick in the balls" argument, the difference will always be intent. Was the sound being ever-so-slightly bad a personal attack on you? Did the good people at Earwolf wring their hands and say, "Fools! We shall give them pain instead of laughter, and thus the world shall be ours! Bwa-Ha-Ha." No? Then shut the fuck up.

 

A better analogy would be if Person 1 was hungry (doesn't even have to be starving) and Person 2 offers them free food. If P2 hands P1 a shit sandwich, then by all means, shove that right back in their fucking face. Their intent is to mock or to hurt you. On the other hand, if P2 offers a delicious turkey sandwich, but maybe it doesn't have as much mayonnaise as you usually like or something, it is not okay to fly into histrionics, spit it back in their face, and scream that it's poison.

 

That's really all I have to say on that subject. Complaining that the free entertainment you are being offered isn't up to your ridiculous standards is both douchey and entitled--kind of like Dice in Glitter (That's right, bringing it back to the movie! BAM!)--and I have little patience for either .

 

Of course this is all hypothetical, it may or may not have happened...

 

*This may or may not be a quote from another site this person may or may not have been posting on. Who fucking cares? All I can say is that some people deserve a kick in the balls much more than others

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While I understand the shit sandwich analogy, I'm not sure that that's the best example, because it's actually HDTGM's JOB to deliver shit sandwiches to us on a (pretty much) bi-weekly basis. They don't just throw it in our faces and make us eat it alone though. They pull up a seat and split it with us, and maybe put some ketchup on it, some mustard, maybe some sliced tomatoes or something, all to help it go down easier and at least make it FEEL like we didn't just sit down and chow down on a plate of poo.

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While I understand the shit sandwich analogy, I'm not sure that that's the best example, because it's actually HDTGM's JOB to deliver shit sandwiches to us on a (pretty much) bi-weekly basis. They don't just throw it in our faces and make us eat it alone though. They pull up a seat and split it with us, and maybe put some ketchup on it, some mustard, maybe some sliced tomatoes or something, all to help it go down easier and at least make it FEEL like we didn't just sit down and chow down on a plate of poo.

 

 

Ah! I see what you are saying, however for this particular shit sandwich (Glitter) YouTube was acting the fool on me. So I rented it for $4 on Amazon, then found and bought it for $5 the next day at a used DVD store, then purchased the Rifftrax for $4 so I could have seconds. In this case, my shit sandwich cost me $13 dollars and worth every penny!

 

If anything, HDTGM was the delightful digestif I drank afterwards to sooth my stomach. :)

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Okay, so the movie ended. (And if you look at the timestamps, it looks like I spent three full days watching this trash, which isn't true. It only felt like three days.)

 

A few thoughts about the movie:

 

1. It seems like thinly-veiled autobiography, which accounts for the one-dimensional characters (wanting to protect the characters' feelings as though they were real people) and the lack of tension (an unexamined life leading to a lack of clarity about the central drama of the story). I looked into her life, and there are some definite parallels: Mariah Carey's parents got divorced and she stayed with her mother, and her father (a successful musician) left her and another sibling (and he took another sibling with him, which I'm sure made matters worse). She also married Tommy Mottola, her producer/label exec/impresario, as they said. They had split up by the time Glitter came out. (Which is maybe why the Producer/Love Interest in Glitter was the only one in the whole movie with a real conflict. And why it was okay for him to die?)

 

2. I wanted to see more Eric Benet. There must be more footage of him on the cutting room floor. I know that people are clamoring for alternate versions of this movie! Let's see one that is Eric Benet doing his job and being humble and unobtrusive and just making music, in a drama-free way, which is technically what the characters are all supposed to be doing for a living.

 

3. Speaking of alternate versions, I would like to see a Louise and Roxanne cut. (Maybe some more of those classic improvised scenes???) I don't know if it was intentional or if it was created by Da Brat's butch vibe, but those two were a couple, right?

 

4. In re: Billie, Louise, and Roxanne in an orphanage(?). While CPS has its problems, there is no way they would have left Billie in an orphanage (?) if her dad were still alive. He would have to terminate parental rights, which it seems like they were setting up that he would do, with him rejecting her early. BUT: then what CPS does is go and look for other relatives: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, older siblings/half-siblings. Family members are often willing to raise a child if the parents are unwilling/unable to. And finally, in New York in the 1970s, these kids would've been in foster care. Maybe they would've gotten to live together in the same foster home, though that's unlikely since they weren't related to one another, but there is no way that they would have stayed together in a group home during that time. (Sorry to get on a tangent on this one point; this is my particular pet peeve about the "convenience" of storylines that separate kids from their families for narrative purposes.) (Also, you don't get to bring your cat to foster care/group homes/orphanages...)

 

Great ep!

 

And props to July for bringing it out so quickly and for the remaster!

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Hey I've been reading a lot of harsh criticism about the sound quality, and I just wanted to clarify some things.

 

First, calm down. Jesus. Glad you care so much, but...wow.

 

I didn't notice anything bad with the audio and I've got hyperacusis, so i tend to notice bad audio levels. especially over loud bass tones in movies, when people slap the mic in live comedy shows I feel that. Sounded really normal for a live show to me. listening to it on my iphone connected to my Klipsch THX spearkers two channel audio speakers, I don't notice anything annoying. If I am not noticing it then it's really nitpicky stuff.

 

On another subject: One thing I would like to point out that I really enjoyed about the show was when paul played the director's commentary track. that was amazing...

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On another subject: One thing I would like to point out that I really enjoyed about the show was when paul played the director's commentary track. that was amazing...

 

The director was fully jerking it while he was recording that commentary track...

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I was certain the director never did anything ever again so I looked it up:

 

Mofo directed an episode of Firefly. A good one too: Our Mrs. Reynolds. What a world.

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While we're talking about the audio levels, could you guys add a little reverb and a live drummer to the next episode?

 

Hi, I'm Todd Glass.

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