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JulyDiaz

Episode 97 — Rhinestone: LIVE!

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It's disgusting that the Sly songs from this shitshow are not on iTunes.

 

NO the sound track has been taken off the market thanks to the united states defense department. it's now used as a weapon of destruction, using ultrasound speakers.

 

if you look on you tube you can find most of the songs from the movie there.

 

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if you look on you tube you can find most of the songs from the movie there.

I was genuinely afraid for Dolly in this clip at 1:44. "Tone it down Sly."

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I'm sorry, but isn't that kind of backward thinking? If we had to pay for HDTGM, then yeah, I could maybe see your point, but since it is free, then I don't mind paying what is usually only a few dollars for a copy. For instance, Rhinestone is currently only $2.87 on Amazon. What else can you really get for $2.87?

 

Counter-point - The price is really that plus shipping, and it would be tough to get it shipped and watch it in the time between the movie announcement and the episode (granted, not a huge concern here since we knew this episode was eventually coming, but in general). Bottom line, I don't think they should feel any obligation either way, but I strongly prefer when it's a readily-available movie. The last two episodes and forum discussions were so much fun because it was clear that a lot of us watched the movies.

 

Anyway, the episode was a lot of fun and once again Matt was a great guest.

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I...I don't have much. This was awful. Probably the least I've ever liked a HDTGM movie. I watched it at 12:00 AM and could not wait for it to be over. I took very few notes. But here's a few things:

 

1. This movie was based on a song. It actually said in the opening credits, "Based on the song Rhinestone Cowboy" by whoever-the-hell wrote it.

 

2. At some point with the really, really, painfully unfunny comedy I realized that it reminded me of a parody segment from an awards show. Like if you took some scenes and told me that it was the cold-open for the CMAs hosted by Stallone and Parton I would believe you.

 

3. This. I saw this just now when I googled Dolly Parton and it made me laugh.

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Maybe this is a question for the Stallone podcast, but I wonder, if this movie was a success, would he immediately have followed it up with more comedies, thus robbing us the next year of what I consider to be two of the finest (what I can only assume are) documentaries on the Cold War ever produced?

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Throughout my viewing of 'Rhinestone,' I just couldn't help but wonder how Frank Stallone's presence and songwriting could have affected this movie, or what if Frank Stallone recorded the vocals to all the songs and Sly lip-synced to them on-camera? Also, how might insertion of Patrick Swayze as Dalton from 'Road House' improve things, especially in the rowdy bar scenes. I think instead of/in addition to "Would Nic Cage make it better?" we could discuss "would Swayze tearing out the throat of Freddie make it better?"

 

Conclusion: Yes, especially since he would refuse to wear the outfits Stallone puts on during the film and would instead perform shirtless while doing Tai Chi.

"Would Patrick Swayze tearing the throat of ___________ make it better?" should be a question for EVERY episode. I mean, it was an interesting discussion already, but I think it could have added even more to the "Timothy Green" episode.

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On his IMDB page, Ron Liebman (who plays Freddie Ugo in "Rhinestone") is quoted as saying (in 2011): "To be rigorously honest with you, the script that I was sent was not the script that we wound up shooting, much to my chagrin. The script that I was sent was rather funny." [Liebman's quote would be great, even if he stopped there, but he continues and puts a finer point on it.] "The script when I got there, I think Sylvester Stallone had rewritten it, and it was no longer the script I had signed for." Wait, you "think" Stallone had rewritten it? Come on, Kaz, you know that it was Stallone who fucked up the script. I thought we were being "rigorously honest" here.

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I love when Jason berates an audience member. That may be the best thing about the live shows.

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I don't agree that "Sneakers" was a good movie. I remember it as being the kind of bad movie that makes you angry because it insults your intelligence--cutesy and cliché-ridden, with a dumb story and plot holes you could sneak a truck through. Watch it again and count how many times you have a thought that starts with the words, "As if..."

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I tried taking notes while watching this movie at 2am last night, but that ended up much consisted of jotting down a bunch of nonsensical dialogue. I'm sure I missed some great quotes... and a few of these were definitely mentioned in the show, but here goes:

 

- "...head up to Calhoun County and catch us a coon" (during the first song of the movie)

 

- "there are two kinds of people in this world, and you ain't one of 'em"

 

- "...turban under his cowboy hat and spurs on his sandals"

 

- "where are all the lepers when I need one?"

 

- "who's Humpty Dumpty?"

 

- "what's it like to take heroin?"

 

- "you sound like baby Hitler"

 

- "fifth-degree baglady"

 

- "...like a sore finger rehearsing for Halloween" (I might have misheard this one, but whatever was said still made zero sense)

 

- "...the toilet ain't never flushed and the cat's pregnant"

 

- (after Barnett is knocked out) "what are we gonna do?"

"...piss on him."

 

- "tighter than a gnats nose stretched over a rainbow"

 

- "brown-eyed agony" (can't quite remember the context of this)

 

- "guru of doo-doo"

 

 

did anyone notice that in the opening credits the movie is said to be based on a song? I feel like there was another movie they have covered that boasted the same thing... can't remember which one though.

 

also, I tallied the number of times Nick referred to himself in the third person... I got six, but I think I might have missed a few.

 

 

another thing that thoroughly confused me... who the fuck is the Jessie girl that Jake is talking to at the end of the movie!? perhaps earlier scenes with her were cut out, but as an audience we're made to believe that this is her dear friend who's giving her advice even though her character just appears out of nowhere. again, I watched this at 2am so I might have missed something...

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I'm about halfway through this movie, and I'm scared to read anything in this thread or listen to this podcast because I'm genuinely enjoying it. I 100% laughed non-ironically at something Sly said.

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- "there are two kinds of people in this world, and you ain't one of 'em"

 

That's genuinely very funny.

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I don't agree that "Sneakers" was a good movie. I remember it as being the kind of bad movie that makes you angry because it insults your intelligence--cutesy and cliché-ridden, with a dumb story and plot holes you could sneak a truck through. Watch it again and count how many times you have a thought that starts with the words, "As if..."

 

81% from critics and users on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.1 out of 10 on IMDb.

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- "brown-eyed agony" (can't quite remember the context of this)

 

It was toward the end, when Dolly said to Sly, "You've given me nothing more than brown eyed agony!" I sat there blinking at the screen for a moment, then turned to Urban Dictionary. And... sure, whatever, that makes as much sense as anything. And yeah, Hypnotizing Chickens, I found myself sort of obsessed with the bizarre dialog in this movie.

 

(here's my whole long recap thinger, complete with screenshots and links to Youtube clips and all sorts of random comments, because like a lot of people on this board, I found this movie very... upsetting. If you still haven't seen the movie, you might be able to make do by skimming my recap, or anyway looking at the screenshots/Youtube clips.)

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This movie. I love it. It is terrible and weird and yet, everyone is clearly trying. They are trying and failing.

 

This is the second HDTGM movie based on a song, the previous one was Hudson Hawk.

 

For anyone doubting that Dolly is perfect, here she is singing the terrible Drinkenstein on The Tonight Show and making it good.

 

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Maybe this is more about what good people they are than about them trying to deflect possible negative reactions to the film, but the Hollywood premiere of Rhinestone doubled as a benefit for autism research. Also, Stallone is a comedian.

 

 

"She is cheap. If she had a box of cough drops, she'd stand outside till she got a cold."

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UPDATE: Did anyone else notice the crazy redneck guy pouring salt into his beer. Right after Stallone's character goes from Dolly land to the bar, for the first time. And Stallone's character runs into her ex-boyfriend, unknowingly.

 

Watch the guy to the left, he can be seen pouring salt into his beer glass, he does this twice. It's right before the boyfriend character introduces himself and talks about how he likes his beer foamy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozXRnVlWI4g

found it on youtube, move to 28sec mark watch the guy on the left hand side and his beer glass.

 

Does it again at 1.4min mark

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Ok.

 

How has nobody mentioned the fact that one of the first songs we hear Richard Farnsworth's band(?) playing is a song thats lyrics are "too much water, just too much water, again and again and again and again"? Because I lost my mind when that scene happened. What the fuck is that song???

 

How is this movie rated PG and yet now I've seen that questionably detailed outline of Stallone's balls? The "Drinkinstein" scene will haunt me forever.

 

I have so many questions about this movie. I had too many genuine laughs during this movie. I am...different because of this movie.

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The best part of the episode was every single one of them going out of the way to giving Dolly credit for almost making it work just by herself. I always like when they give credit for the bright spots in what are otherwise abysmal films. And June is right, Dolly is a national treasure.

 

Although Matt is wrong, Straight Talk isn't her best movie, 9 to 5 is. And as a gay man, I'm obligated to give a shout-out to Steel Magnolias even though that's more of an ensemble piece.

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81% from critics and users on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.1 out of 10 on IMDb.

I know. I could make a robust list of horrible movies that have stellar ratings. For what it is worth, Vincent Canby hated "Sneakers," and Ebert gave it 2.5 stars. I think people are lulled by the great cast, but read the plot summary on Wiki, and it just sounds ridiculous.

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Someone hit upon Sly having women telling his characters that they can't do something, and they miss out Rocky? I lost count of the the amount of times Adrian screamed "STOP THE FIGHT!!"

 

And, that's not to mention Rocky IV, Adrian standing at the top of the stairs, in the house he bought by, you know, WINNING, and telling the World Heavyweight Champion "YOU CAN'T WIN!". Then, in the previous movie, Mickey telling him "BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WIN, ROCK!!" So, they tell him that he can't win when he's the World Heavyweight Champion, but then when he's not the world champion, they tell him he can win. Which one is it?!

 

This leads me to think Sly writes these movies, then starts arguing with himself, finding the nearest reflective surface, looking at his own face looking back at him and screaming "Fuck you! Don't tell me what I'm capable of!"

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Can we just take a moment to discuss the absolutely INSANE filmography of director Bob Clark? He goes from the cheapo zombie movies 'Dead of Night' and 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things' to the progenitor slasher classic 'Black Christmas.'

 

 

Then Clark directs two 'Porky's' movies, followed immediately by A FUCKING CHRISTMAS STORY, after which he moves on to 'Rhinestone,' and later reaches the apex of what-the-fuckery with 'Baby Geniuses' AND 'Baby Geniuses 2'. Clark also has writing or screenplay credit on 'Porky's,' 'A Christmas Story,' and 'Baby Geniuses.'

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Knowing he did both Porky's and A Christmas Story has brought a horrendous new meaning to "You'll shoot your eye out!"

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I'm a huge Dolly Parton fan and you guys and gal did a brilliant job covering this movie. It was a hilarious dissection of the film!!

 

First off, I'm glad you all gave Dolly high regards for the "national treasure" that she is, as a talented singer & performer; and for making the movie watchable cause I'd agree with you all on that as well. What you didn't mention was that she wrote several of the songs contributing lyrically to the film, and I've heard her mention in interviews that it's the soundtrack that no one "ever heard" cause clearly she prides herself in her songwriting. Of note, Butterflies, God Won't Get You, One Emotion After Another, What a Heartache, and Tennessee Homesick Blues are all songs she wrote (the last one going to #1 on Country charts). She co-wrote these songs with Stallone which I find hard to believe, Be There, Stay Out of My Bedroom, Sweet Lovin' Friends, and Woke Up In Love. [songs written by other people Too Much Water -- Randy Parton, The Day My Baby Died -- Rusty Buchanan, Goin' Back To Heaven -- Stella Parton and Kin Vassey, Drinkin' Stein -- Stallone, Waltz Me To Heaven -- Floyd Parton.]

 

In 2010, the LA Film Fest honored Stallone for his career, and during a Q&A Rhinestone was mentioned. What I do recall him saying was that the original idea behind the film was the Pygmalion effect. He went on to praise Dolly highly for her contribution to the film and her overall talent and beauty. However, he didn't reveal anything more than admitting he couldn't sing and wish the movie would go away.

 

Dolly has always said in interviews that although the movie was not a success, it was a personal success for her because she had been having major health problems in the 18 months prior to shooting the film, and working with Stallone, partly due to his healthy regime and his big personality, helped her come out from the poor health.

 

I have a TODAY Show interview from 1984 (I don't see it posted on YouTube) where it's mentioned that VARIETY reports production costs had reached 28 million (and that's while prod was still going on) and that the film had been plagued by problems. It's mentioned that the original cinematographer had been replaced only a few days into shooting in NY (but doesn't say why), and the director replaced two weeks later in TN (but doesn't say why). Bob Clark was brought in as director and bad weather in TN forced production back to shooting in LA. Bob Clark notes that the concept had been changed since his taking over the film and much of the earlier footage shot by the original director wasn't useable. Stallone states that the "personality shades" of the character are the closest to his real self than anything else he'd done up to that point, "the ad libs, the jokes and the absurdity... cause I've got a different slant on life an odd outlook".

 

The question of NYC being a country mecca was brought up. Obviously it isn't, and never was. However, in 1984 the idea of the "Urban Cowboy", as well as the evolving sound of Country music at the time and growing urban popularity thanks to variety shows such as Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters etc. were popular in American culture. I think Rhinestone was playing off of the idea that there could be a country club as big and popular as the Rhinestone Club portrayed in the film.

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I guess I'm going to be in the minority then and say I thought Dolly Parton was actually pretty bland in this (also, in the opening number she totally looked like an albino). Her character was, as every other character said, no fun.

Her singing was ok though, but I actively hate country (so I guess the fact I didn't actually hate it could be a testament to how good it was.)

 

Also the opening amateur night guys song about the girl dying in a thresher or whatever kinda reminded me of this tragic song.

 

 

So, despite the fact I didn't actually like Dolly Parton in this, or the music, or any other characters or actors, overall this was still a fun movie to watch.

 

Also I just googled (with quotes) "mice fucking on cotton" to see if its a more common phrase than I thought, and only found discussion of this episode, and a Gawker article from 2004 about the Billboard Music Awards.

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