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JulyDiaz

Episode 102 — Tango & Cash

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I don't think when Russell called Stalone "tripod" he was saying he had a big dick, I think he was saying his balls were sagging. Sly comes back with saying "one day the other one will drop" to Russell, in keeping with the ball-based insult theme.

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I kind of agree with June about seeing naked butts. I like seeing them more for a giggle like "heehee I saw Channing Tatum's butt." Not saying its a bad butt or anything but it isn't something amazing.

 

I also love that the plugs ended up talking about butts.

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"heehee I saw Channing Tatum's butt."

 

I saw Foxcatcher the other day and said that very thing!

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I have fond memories of this movie. My older brother tricked me into watching it when I was 6 by saying it was PG-13. He ended up getting in trouble, and I ended up getting ice cream (for being traumatized I guess).

 

Sadly, I don't remember any of those great 80's boobs. Though I doubt 6 year old me would care.

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. Amazing point. He was in Samurai Cop as well.

 

Yes! Robert Z'Dar! Yet another reason they need to do Samurai Cop...

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major omission: how was there no talk of the guy with the HUGE face!!!??

see cherubism.

 

the actor is question is named Robert Z'Dar, best known as the titular (or.... eponymous) maniac cop in the cult horror/action movie Maniac Cop.

 

 

 

 

edit: a little late on that one... looks like I need to start screening my posts.

 

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There are two things that happen in the first scene of the movie that kill me: 1) Had the semi drivers just kept going they would have plowed right through Sly and gotten away, with only two bullet holes in the window and the smeared remains of his body stuck in the grille. And 2) Jack Palance drove by the bust as it was happening. That means that this huge kingpin drug dealer (?) keeps such a close eye on his thugs that he shadows them as they do his bidding. Didn't the chopper that was following the chase notice the stretch limo speeding behind the semi and Sly's car?!

 

This movie also includes yet another scene of Sly insulting someone's eating habits. In Over the Top it was too much ketchup, in Rhinestone he's anti-sushi, and in Cobra he's not a fan of pizza. Now in Tango & Cash his target is spaghetti, which according to him is a sure fire sign that someone is not counting their calories.

 

To kinda correct your food thing, Over the Top was against steak and fried chicken, too much ketchup was from Cobra (as well as the pizza thing, and the cheese/cake thing, and the gummy bears thing, and basically all the food things)

 

Some more about that opening scene, theres a shitton of cops ready to descend on that truck (obviously as we see they wouldn't have found the drugs because they're not as awesome as Stallone, though), but he insists that he be the one to stop it alone, even trying to tell the helicopter to go away. Later on one of his complaints about Cash is that he's a glory hound...

 

Also, about the bullets, were those special bullets? I thought he was just reloading his gun, which seemed pointless because a. its a movie in the 80s, and b. shouldn't it have already been loaded since he hasn't fired yet? What if he didn't have a long ol' time to prepare while the truck drove up to him? and c...the bullets he ejected from the gun clearly hadn't been fired (from what i can tell pausing the 720p video of it). So if they were special bullets, how come we weren't privy to what kind of awesome bullets they were and why they necessitated being switched out, and he never uses them again.

 

Also about something that bugged me about reloading, after they burst through the warehouse and ram into each other seemingly on purpose, they find the stash of all kinds of guns and grenades. They gear up and move on, they get into a firefight...and Cash asks Tango for a clip afterwards like they worked it out that Tango would carry all the ammo? Why didn't he have his own clips? I don't know why, but that kinda stuck out to me.

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As a law school graduate, I can easily explain the "Self-Destruct Warning" in Jack Palance's lair: clearly he is trying to prevent any liability in a lawsuit by giving reasonable warning to those around that the building would explode. I'm not sure if 12 minutes would be enough warning (got the degree but never took the bar) but certainly it allows for some type of defense if there was a wrongful death or injury suit.

 

It did remind me of the Mitchell and Webb Evil Genius sketch where his plans are hampered by health and safety regulations.

 

 

I'm about 50/50 on the "watching the movie before the episode" thing. If it's something I own or can see easily I'll usually watch it, although I often get more from viewing after the episode when I can notice all the goofy stuff.

 

I do wonder if whoever programs HBOGO is a HDTGM fan since at the moment it features 4 movies featured on the show (Catwoman, Deck the Halls, Stop or my Mom Will Shoot, Winter's Tale), as well as 3 movies movies mentioned on the show (Blended ,16 Blocks, and Ladyhawk) and many films which could be on the show (The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Chill Factor, Ed, Next of Kin, Die Another Day).

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Also of Soultaker fame, which you can watch here:

 

http://youtu.be/kFfiTVlYECU

 

"God, he's a catcher's mitt with eyes."

 

Seriously.

 

post-25611-0-34169700-1422079768_thumb.jpg

 

So much stuff for this movie!

 

Jack Palance really, really, loved those mice that he only referred to as Tango and Cash. Like, it was obsessively weird.

 

This may be correction, but I'm not sure. Regarding the weird bullet thing at the beginning. My take was that Tango was switching to non-lethal bullets. Maybe he wanted to scare the guys in the truck, but not actually shoot them? Who knows.

 

I think this movie was almost good. The first thing I noticed, was that the cinematography was actually not half bad. There were some sequences that featured pretty nicely framed shots. Then when Kurt Russell entered the picture, I was immediately sold on his character. He was amazing, even when the script around him was garbage. Imagine if they had fixed the (admittedly many) plot issues, and replaced Stallone with someone who could better play a by-the-books character (Nicolas Cage anyone?).

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I usually don't watch the movies, but I did this time (only time I ever done that before was LOL which is famously bad, usually I already seen it and can remember it) but uh Tango & Cash was a movie I saw the first time I ever got drunk in my living room while my parents slept. I remember watching it and LOVING IT. Gotta say guys, I enjoyed rewatching it.

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Even after the effort to re-edit the film to try to rescue it, they still couldn't manage to explain how blowing up all the evidence somehow cleared them of the murder charge that they've already been convicted of. But, I guess you don't go to a Stallone movie expecting the plot to make sense.

 

https://soundcloud.c...-mean-to-pixley

This reminds me of how at the end of "Judge Dredd", everyone's basically like "I guess you're in charge now, Dredd!", just after he took out the real villain, but AFTER essentially pulling off a prison break and probably killing at least several of his fellow judges that were only doing their jobs, as they'd been duped by the baddies. I would think that in THAT universe in particular that someone would be like "OK, we were being manipulated, but you still have a LOT to answer for, asshole". I'm not sure if they made mention of that in that particular episode.

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I had a good streak of getting the movies and watching, but just not enough time lately and none of the movies they've done have been memorable enough to me to think I could follow along.

"It's been a whiiile..." since they've done a movie worth watching. Ever since Easy Rider 2, they've just been doing horribly awful movies. I know they're supposed to bad movies, but "iiiits been" exhausting to sit through these films.

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Some more about that opening scene, theres a shitton of cops ready to descend on that truck (obviously as we see they wouldn't have found the drugs because they're not as awesome as Stallone, though), but he insists that he be the one to stop it alone, even trying to tell the helicopter to go away. Later on one of his complaints about Cash is that he's a glory hound...

 

 

This bugged me too! Tango calls Cash a "thrill seeker" and a "glory hound," but only after having a conversation with his boss where he is asked, "Why do you do it? You've got enough money..." at which point Tango replies, "I do it for the action."

 

I swear this is why the screenwriter felt the need to either begin or punctuate each line of dialog with either "Tango" or "Cash." If the two of them were alone in a scene together, how else was he supposed to remember who was who?

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...the movie shows that Owen is terrible at hiding guns in things, he can't even install a gun in a stuffed animal without it exploding...

 

Not only that, when he is about to test it the dog is pointed directly at them! Thank God, the dog's head blew up! Also, how is an old person supposed to aim that dog gun? Isn't it more unwieldy than just carrying a gun? Do you need one at every entrance? Does it only shoot people in the dick? LAPD's Q branch has a lot of explaining to do....

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Just a quick Correction & Omission: this was not a record breaking return by a guest. Scotty Aucks has been on the show three times as well with Speed 2, Sharknado and Sharknado 2. I would more than welcome another appearance by either Nick Kroll or Hot Saucerman in order to truly break the record. Maybe with Sharknado 3?

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I'm surprised no one mentioned the rain-drenched zip-line scene, where Kurt Russell uses his belt - which is apparently made out of adamantium since it's impervious to sheering in half from the friction - to slide down a sparks-a-flyin’ powerline.

 

The slow motion run-up is great, but the moment he makes contact with the wire and doesn’t get fried is pure 80’s gold - complete with exhale musical score to let you know everything’s a-okay.

 

I always wished the Mythbusters did a Tango and cash themed episode, if they did the belt zip line would have to be one of the tests.

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My favorite thing about the self-destructing Evil Base is that Perret had a crayon around in his office with which to write that "BOOM!" note. Maybe he likes to color?

 

This movie marks the union of two scene-stealing weirdo character actors who both appeared in the original Star Trek series playing, well, weirdos: Clint Howard (Slinky) and Michael J. Pollard (Owen). May they creep us out in movies forever.

 

One of my favorite bits of cinemtic ephemera is the random text given to the "other" articles, the ones not about our main characters, in on-screen shots of newspapers. They are supposed to be boring and uninteresting so you pay attention to what the film wants you to read, but just for fun and because the bizarre nature of the newspapers in this world were mentioned by our intrepid hosts, here are the first few lines in the articles on the FRONT PAGE of a LOS ANGELES newspaper:

 

Left Column:

"Children Who Dress for Excess

-Today's youngsters have become fixated with fashion. The right look isn't enough - it also has to be expensive.

BALTIMORE - When 15-year-old Michael Thomas left home for school last May, he couldn't have been prouder. On his feet, thanks to his mother's hard work, were a pair of spanking new Air Jordans-$100 worth of leather, rubber and status that to today's youth are the Mercedes-Benzes of athletic footwear."

 

Right Column:

"Ask Not What the Critics Say

PHILADELPHIA - At recess time at St. Edmond's parochial school in south Philadelphia, the youngsters crowd around to watch blue-uniformed volunteers from the Philadelphia Youth Service Corps swarm over the 75-year-old structure, painting the trim and patching the concrete."

 

Along with the crazy newspaper headlines adorning Clint Howard's cell, I guess the movie's newspaper budget extended to... East Coast education lifestyle circulars?

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Just a quick Correction & Omission: this was not a record breaking return by a guest. Scotty Aucks has been on the show three times as well with Speed 2, Sharknado and Sharknado 2. I would more than welcome another appearance by either Nick Kroll or Hot Saucerman in order to truly break the record. Maybe with Sharknado 3?

 

Doug Benson and Adam Scott have also been on three times each, although Scott was technically a guest co-host one of those times.

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I found the Siskel & Ebert review of Tango & Cash on YouTube (link below) and I love that Siskel describes the movie as "unhappy entertainment".

 

Siskel calls their coming-together a "Meet Cute" and Roger Ebert says the movie is a waste of valuable electricity while also criticizing Perret's obsolete TV screens that are over ten years old:

 

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Did anyone find it odd that the British henchman couldn't give a shit when they were holding him over the roof of the building, but is pissing himself a second later when they strap the grenade to his head? Why would the method of death make a difference? My take on it was that he knew they were "good guys" and they would never actually drop him, but if that's the case, why wouldn't he just assume the grenade thing is just another empty threat? Is he really that afraid of having his head exploded by a grenade? Seems a much quicker way to go if you ask me...

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Great ep guys!

 

 

You seemed to have touched on how crazy the prison in this movie was but you didnt menyion that when they first get walked to their cells - the fucking hallway was on fucking fire! There was open fires and the guards didn't not only care but seemed totally cool with it.

 

And when Kurt Russel met Teri Hatcher he asked her if she knew it was him and she said she pieced it together. WHAT!?!

 

You mean your brother was on trial for murder and you never once went to the court to see what was happening or for that matter read a newspaper article about the trial or watched a news story on it.

 

Oh and you never read one of the many articles just about his day to day exploits?

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