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We should introduce her to “Manos: The Hands Of Fate.”

Have we discussed that her name is literally Star Star? Stella is the Latin for star. Random fact about me : I have a tattoo on my wrist that says Stella Fulgens which means Star Bright.

I would add something worthwhile to this discussion, but I had to get so stoned to make it through this movie that I barely remember it. And I watched the Mystery Science Theater version. i remember...bright twinkly lights. The feeling that the space journeys were very slow and plastic-y. Lots of plastic in general. Being confused as to what everyone was talking about, Hoping that they kept the set warm for the skimpy outfits. vaguely thinking that the woman should be kicking ass but it seemed like all the men were saving her. Even the robot did. I dunno, that could just be the pot talking and it’s possible I hallucinated large chunks of this film. generally being amazed at how terrible all the men’s hair looked.

Oh I'm very familiar with Manos: The Hand of Fate thanks to Thanksgiving marathons of MST3K. #RIPPeppy! Though maybe dying in the desert was the best way to go in the movie....

And now on your other wrist...

No topic yet, so thought I'd start one! Amy & Paul pay tribute to 1972’s mobster epic The Godfather! They praise the film’s incredible rich cinematography, wonder if Michael makes his character turn too quickly, and debate whether this is truly the second greatest American film ever. Plus: Gianni Russo, who plays Carlo Rizzi in the film, shares stories from the set. Next week is Godfather Pt. II – tell us one of your deepest secrets! Don’t worry, you can use a fake voice, just call the Unspooled voicemail line at 747-666-5824.

So having watched this on Amazon, this is surprisingly a good movie but still pretty crazy enough for the show. It was meant to be a FNAF film but various issues came with that so it became this. The characters are pretty well done for the most part outside of a couple that are pretty tropish, but it's not overly-hammy for the most part. The gore and story are fairly well done and why what's happening with the robots is pretty well explained to where it fits the narrative, unlike Chopping Mall where shit goes down because of three lightning bolts that happen out of nowhere.

Just for shits and giggles; more like all shits no giggles.

Have you ever been on pain medication and misread your own tattoo? Because *I* have. My tattoo is fulgens stella. Bright star. I can't wait to be healed up from my neck injections and back to my normal dosage because wow .

10/17 The Godfather 10/24 The Godfather Part II 10/31 The Grapes Of Wrath 11/7 Forrest Gump

Hearing that the director and production team were basing this movie off of a Star Wars novelization makes a lot of sense and explains a lot of its crappiness. So much of what makes this movie exhausting to watch comes down to basic editing. As a visual medium, movies need things like establishing shots and travel montages to move the audience from place to place, whereas novels inherently don't. Take, for example, the trial scene, wherein we are standing before the Right Honorable Krang hearing Stella and Akton's hard labor sentence, and then smash-cut to Stella, in the mine, some indeterminate amount of time later, lugging space orbs around on a stretcher with the other slaves. There was no "guards, take her away" moment, no shot of her arriving at the mine, no Shawshank "fresh fish" scene, no nothing. A good movie would show Stella arriving at the prison with other prisoners, an establishing shot of the prison, and then the mine, and then show her working for some length of time before deciding to bust out, but Starcrash just has none of that. It was the same thing with the snow planet, when Stella and Elle get back to the ship to learn that Thor had betrayed them -- the movie doesn't even so much as show the damn ship taking off, leaving them abandoned on the planet. Thor walks off screen, and then smash-cut to Stella laying down in the snow to die ... for all the audience knows, the ship is still right there out of frame. But novels can get away with that kind of thing because it doesn't need to take the time to present the spectacle of the moment. Smash cuts aren't a problem with novels because you can reveal the shift in time along with all the other details that set the scene. In fact, I think this whole movie might work better as a novel: "Stella Star," bellowed Judge Krang,"you are hereby sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor in the galactic acid mines." And with that, court was adjourned. *** Chapter 5 Stella's back and shoulders ached as she and the other slaves lifted the acid orb upon the stretcher and joined the queue for the hole full of dry ice. In this cheaply constructed soundstage that was her prison, time seems to slow to crawl. Had she really been wearing this same bikini every day for the last three months?

For a Star Wars rip off that features prominent bikinis I want to take a moment to remember my favorite ( and possibly only) Star Wars fact I know thanks to Carrie Fisher's fantastic book Wishful Drinking. Apparently George Lucas thinks space is an underwear free zone because "you go to space and you become weightless...But then your body expands??? But your bra doesn't — so you get strangled by your own bra." (This might be my favorite of many amazing parts of Wishful Drinking). Carrie wrote that was how she wanted her obituary to read. Drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. I still think about that line sometimes because it's just so utterly Carrie.

Yes, Akton’s Dollar General brand lightsaber was offensive, but I had far more issues with the weapon Stella Star wielded for the majority of the movie. It was essentially an entire rifle made out of a bayonet. The logistics of firing such a weapon are beyond me. It seems to me as soon as you pulled the trigger, the recoil would slice your space fingers right the fuck off. (I could post a screen shot, but this image is far better.)

Budgetary issues aside, I wish they'd at least tried to throw a few more non-humanoid aliens in. Head in a Jar and Green Guy were pretty much the only sci-fi guys.

The library district I belong to has local art displayed all year long, there's always something new when I'm there. Stop sleeping on your libraries!

WELL IT DOUBLE POSTED THIS FOR ME EVERYONE PLEASE IGNORE

Maybe its not "Elle", but E.L.L.E, with some stupid ass cheap sci-fi name like Electrohumanoid Lunar Law Enforcer

With my apologies to the Tank Top Balcony Bros, while you have a very valid theory about Guardians of the Galaxy and Starcrash I think it goes a bit deeper than that in fact it goes the other way around. I mean the one character's name is Thor. If that is not a nod to their Marvel comics inspiration I don't know what is. However, something struck me as I was rewatching this movie. A lot of the characters in the movie look awfully similar to other things that I know. Now, we covered Zardoz and the obvious Star Wars rips, but there was something very comic booky about it all to me. Then the spirit of Stan Lee came down and smacked me in the head because it became crystal clear. This movie is the Kree/Skrull war people!! Don't believe me let's looks at some side by sides I quickly dashed together in paint (nothing but the finest for you folks). First the Krang Judge head is clearly just the leader of the Kree the Supreme Intelligence Next, our pal Thor was a bad guy, then a good guy, then a bad guy. Very shifty like a Skrull! Then Akton, the hero of the show. Well he kinda looks like the Kree hero himself Captain Marvel Though if you ask me he looks more like Adam Warlock with the hair and colour pattern but that doesn't fit in as well with everything. And the evil Count is either Black Tom Cassidy or Count Neferia. Neither again fit in with the whole cosmic theme but there is probably some Eternal or Inhuman or somebody I'm forgetting about. Which I guess makes Elle a Celestial. You figure it out people.

Had the exact same thought. Also, "a barren desert of whiteness", sounds like Scottsdale, AZ.

Why was Christopher Plummer kind of transparent at the end on his Pittsburgh Steelers Subaru throne? I thought he was going to be a hologram again, but then he wasn't? I dunno. Maybe it's just me, but 97% of the costumes in this movie really drew the eye to the crotch. I wish Stella'd worn the red and silver number with the cape more, it was a good look. I really liked the mini glass spaceship they took to the Amazon planet. Throw some succulents, some cushions and pillows, a stack of books, and a big fuzzy blanket in there and I'd be set for life.

FUCKING FEMINISTS! GOING BACK IN TIME AND DOING GENDER SWAPPED REMAKES!! THEY DID IT WITH GHOSTBUSTERS AND THAT SUCKED, THEY DID IT WITH OCEANS AND THAT SUCKED AND NOW THEY'RE DOING IT WITH THIS?! THEY'RE FUCKING WITH MY CHILDHOOD!!!! This is Brie Larson's fault for some reason! Shit like this is why Trump got elected, and he's gonna win again, because of this fucking bullshit SJW Zardoz remake. We already had "Zardoz", there's no need for Female Zardoz and that's not me being sexist, but when they wanted a male Lara Croft, they made a different game, Uncharted, they didn't change Tomb Raider. Yeah, I get that that's what happened here, it's called "Star Crash", but look at it, thigh high boots, weird underpants, it's fucking Zardoz! MY THAT PERIOD IN TIME A FEW YEARS BEFORE I WAS BORN! And, not being sexist, but Sean Connery looks way better in the thigh highs. But, they just don't see it, Ghostbusters flopped, Oceans 8 flopped, all these other movies I'm ranting about flopped, so that tells you something... People don't want that, people don't want politics being shoved into their movies! Even though that's basically how I make my money, by ranting about it every day. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe. Also, check out my Patreon, because YouTube demonetised me for no reason, all I did was call a woman a fucking bitch that should kill herself, that's not sexist, it's not sexist. If anything, I'd be being sexist if I DIDN'T call her a bitch, because I'm treating her like I would a man. Also, I'm running for election soon, so keep an eye out, I'll be talking about getting milkshake thrown on me, and how that just shows that I'm gonna win! (Stupid Jason ruined my joke, about a minute into the podcast).

Boooooo I was really hoping I'd catch one person lol