Episode 71 — Nicole Byer, Our Close Friend

[klobbermang 532]

Congratulations Hayes, when you said "Morpheus" you made me do a big laugh/cough into my drink and the pretty barista looked at me in concern because I suddenly looked so uncool. Gee, that's just great, thanks so much. (I can't do italics on mobile but actually I was being sarcastic).

 

 

Morpheus, Dorpheus, Orpheus

Go eat some walruses

Orifices, Porridges

Morpheus, Morpheus

 

Going to the Buffet and Walruses

Corpheus, Corpseses

Worcestershire sauce

Go into your orifices

 

Red pill, blue pill

Morpheus, Walruses

Seashells by the Seashorpheus

 

Morpheus drinking a forty in a death basket!

[justinmh05 1968]

I'm not entirely sure which Engineer Cody this was?

[Proposition Phil 218]

Just when I've gotten used to pretty boy Hayes, ruggedly handsome Hayes shows up and I don't know which one I like more.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

Good job Jimmy Buckets. Can i call u that bozos?

obv

[greggy 15909]

OH MY G*D

[chanson 9697]

I'm not entirely sure which Engineer Cody this was?

 

Yes you are.

[chanson 9697]

What is everyone thankful for this Mardi Gras?

 

Lent.

[Andrew 4646]

Grep, I have no notes. I mean, I did, but I wrote them this morning and now I have no idea what they refer to, so there wouldn't be much point me posting them. Whatever, here they are:

• Pretty barista
  
• Brian Williams daughter
  
• Garfield vs other cats
  
• Greggy plug
  
• Earwolfman Jack death
  
• I wanted to hear what Hayes was going to say about mbop
  

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

i'm so, so sorry to hear about the passing of earwolfman jack. it might be tough, but we're going to get through this, gang, i promise you. if anyone needs to talk, please know that i'm here for you. there also comes up the nasty business of executing his will, but we can get to that later

 

 

 

it almost seems wrong to talk about the podcast, but much like snl airing after 9/11 we must go on or the terrorists will have won.

 

the podcast was funny & good.

[chanson 9697]

i'm so, so sorry to hear about the passing of earwolfman jack. it might be tough, but we're going to get through this, gang, i promise you. if anyone needs to talk, please know that i'm here for you. there also comes up the nasty business of executing his will, but we can get to that later

 

 

 

it almost seems wrong to talk about the podcast, but much like snl airing after 9/11 we must go on or the terrorists will have won.

 

the podcast was funny & good.

 

You know, they didn't say this explicitly but I think Hayes' dig at Boko Haram caused them to get that turkey bone stuck in earwolfman Jack and that's why he died. I told you guys that Boko Haram was a big deal. I did. Don't say I didn't because I definitely did.

[Asteck 1250]

Killer popcorn gallery questions guys. I can't wait to ask one of tonight's guests why he's named DC Pierson when imdb says he was in Captain America which is a Marvel movie.

[Toro y Moist 695]

Killer popcorn gallery questions guys. I can't wait to ask one of tonight's guests why he's named DC Pierson when imdb says he was in Captain America which is a Marvel movie.

This really begs the question, is names movies now?

[BoScout 176]

Whoa, y'all. Trip 71 to Planet Handbook.

 

I won't put on earbuds while wearing a ski beanie "avec" fuzzy pom so

the Texas oil guys sharing a Benihana table with this kid got to wave and twirl their guns in appreciation of the 'Sonny, It's Philadelphia' scheming to grossness ratio in a dive bar vibe of the guest segment.

 

Please don't spoil the first segment of the Easter eggs in the ads, OK? I was reading comic books while coffee was being prepared in the pour over Chemex style and I just could not even.

[DEATHMAN 3317]

This really begs the question, is names movies now?

Some names, like Dikembe Mutombo, are so fucking weird and rando that they're even funnier than a movie, because how do you even say that

[Game of Scones 5812]

There hasn't been a mediocre episode in a very long time. Show's on a role.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

There hasn't been a mediocre episode. Show's on a roll.

 

Fixed that for you

[Toro y Moist 695]

Some names, like Dikembe Mutombo, are so fucking weird and rando that they're even funnier than a movie, because how do you even say that

EXACTLY! These days, I don't even watch movies when I'm in the theater. I just pull out my phone, read the cast and crew names from IMDB, and loff my friggin' ass right off.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

I think Hayes knows me too well because that was EXACTLY the question I would have asked. A real treat to get a birthday shoutout 4 months early.

 

 

Also, this ep is for sure in contention for greatest ever, everyone was on top of their game and I'm not talkin bout a game that comes out of a loot crate, ya hear?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

There hasn't been a mediocre episode in a very long time. Show's on a role.

 

Show's Honor Roll.

 

Jut got back from a bunch of parades. It was real fun, if you like that sort of thing. Now I am very tired and grumpy and in the proper frame of mind to sit down and enjoy what is, by all accounts, a great grep.

 

Speaking of Lent, what is everybody giving up? Discuss among yourselves while I listen to this episode.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

I gave up Catholicism for Lent like 6 years ago, so ya know, pretty dedicated.

[watchayakan 1021]

Normally I listen to this for loffs but this time what I got is TEATS! Sean and Hayes can hit all of my buttons.

[odduck 35]

Wow, that Napster cat stuff was so rando! I wish I could come up with something like that, but I'm just not wired for it...

[Tendakrunk 91]

I'm worried that the mining of Uncle Cody's water may have actually caused it to enter the water cycle, not unlike piss in a shower filter. It's very snowy here and it gets all over my skin, so maybe that has some connection as to why I thought he was good and not overstepping his bounds.

[takehomejoke 670]

Hayes, that Napster cat story was a good story. It's not your fault.

[honlads 8798]

Sounds like Hayes is friggin gagging for a guest spot on Podcasts Are Wonderful, Greggy.

As always, very funny epis'.

 

Merry Shrove Tuesday to everybody, and a happy new Lent.