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Poop dipe, wipe-wipe, swipe right.

He died doing what he loved: jerking it in his car while driving

Who made you Judge, Judy, and Masturbator?

cuf

Potato salad gets me so horny

Unlike some of you I never even started eating bees.

I told the doctor that my nipples have been REALLY sensitive lately, then he told me that I could rinse and spit because he'd finished putting the crown on.

The doors on the bus go, "It's just not the same without Jim Morrison." All through the town.

Now that fruit roll up covered pickles are a thing maybe someone will touch my green and red penis

You need a positive mental attitude, and there’s no way you’ll ever get that, so I recommend you just kill yourself.

I quickly made a metal version of the theme we love so much.

How many hairs did you just wax off? It felt like a Brazilian

Real estate tip: You can always tell if the house was built in 60's or 70's by the untrimmed bush in front.

Very much this. The criticism of Aliens being a gung-ho rah-rah military film is such an unbelievably surface-level take. (Paul and Amy don't make this argument, but I hear it a lot.)

A humble first submission for the closing theme

Here!

I don't agree that The Thing is better than Alien, and I can't figure any reason not to send Alien up to space.

A fair amount of the criticism levied at Alien in this episode seemed to be on the "character development" level, and yes I can admit that on that level The Thing or Aliens might be stronger. That's not the whole of filmmaking, though, and Alien has both of them beaten on visual storytelling and design. It fully changed the game on that level.

Amy's previous movie podcast, The Canon, already did Alien vs Aliens. The former (rightly) won. James Cameron's sequel to Alien was akin to the sequel script he wrote for First Blood: dumber & action-ized. The characters in Alien resemble real people just doing their job, they don't spout catch-phrases. I will acknowledge it's not an especially fun/enjoyable movie. It's a horror movie with an unstoppable rape-metaphor at the center of it, and committing to that means it's bleak. Carpenter's version of The Thing was able to borrow from this film, but it's still its own thing which has spawned all manner of offshoots & imitators. And that much of that is due to the set design isn't a mark against the film, because it's not as if that doesn't count. To me one of the great things about the original is that it's NOT obvious that Ripley is going to be the one to survive to the end. They're all potential victims, with none appearing to have any "plot armor". MAD Magazine makes fun of every big movie. The James Bond series has gone on for much longer than Alien. Marvel could as well, but with multiple films per year that would be more demanding. The pace might slow down over time.