Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend

[Toro y Moist 695]

Hey Paul,

 

What's your favorite natural disaster?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Hey Paul, it's Joe McGurl. We went to summer camp together in '94. I was the kid who chugged the 37 Shasta Colas and then barfed all over Judy Spinelli.

 

Anyway, my question is this: If I want to get into comedy, what's the funniest hair color? Some comedians that have darker hair are funny but I know some other funny people with lighter hair. What do I do?

 

All my love,

 

Joe McGurl, a very nice boy.

[souprman 10477]

Paul,

 

They say "Everybody Poops".

 

Is that true?

 

Even Gina Gershon?

[robotam 4493]

Paul,

 

In Inglourious Basterds, the World War 2-era nazis were portrayed as the villains. What are your thoughts on modern day Nazis?

[xoValeriexo 4369]

This reminds me of this one time when I was really depressed and miserable and I got a call from Sallie Mae (a call I had been avoiding). I answered and we set up a payment deferment for six months. At the end of the conversation I told her how unhappy I was and thanked her for being nice to me and started crying. She was like "Uhhh... well..... have a nice day!"

 

I'm a big fan of emotion. Let's be friends.

 

 

And ANOTHER thing...it's Friday night. Why not have a hangouts good time tonight?

 

Nah let's do it on a work night

 

Set it up, baby. Tonight is also not a work night. Let's be friends at any time that is convenient for you, my love.

 

Hi Jan jr. Esq. I like you.

[robotam 4493]

Hello Paul!

 

You worked on season four of arrested development. If you could have one famous celeb arrested, who would it be and who would you pick to be the prison warden?

[Dads for Butt Stuff 753]

In my native language "Rust" means "rest", while the word for "rust" is "roest". I've always expected this is why you haven't made it big in Europe yet. Thoughts?

[Sea Man Sample 17]

Paul,

 

What's the best way to get out of a car without flashing your junk?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Hey Paul, they don't make em like they used to, right?

 

Haha alright my brother I'll see ya later

[Joe McGurl 8358]

I didn't get it tbh, but I did like "....A bunch of other shit I didn't read."

 

The joke is that William Stryker was involved with the Weapon X program. If you were a big nerd geek boy who loves to read comics and just fuckin gets off on that shit, you would be cracking up and laughing really hard. I texted my friend and he said it was a great joke and that he actually liked it

[robotam 4493]

Paul,

 

Did you see the Simon Pegg movie "Paul"? Were you angry that they got Seth Rogen to do your voice ?

[ABRAXAS 366]

Paul, pubic hair?

[Danny Boy Wizard 1342]

Jan jr. Esq. are you Anthony Blanche? Can we be best friends please?

[robotam 4493]

Paul,

 

I saw this sign outside the local leisure complex

 

 

Do you think they supply the babies, or do you need to find one before going?

[mikebonetti 3718]

Hey Paul,

 

What do you make of all this stuff? Can you believe it?

[souprman 10477]

Anyway, my question is this: If I want to get into comedy, what's the funniest hair color? Some comedians that have darker hair are funny but I know some other funny people with lighter hair. What do I do?

Paul, what should I do with my hair. I feel it's time for a change and it's really stressing me out.

great hair questions guys. wish i would have thought of that...

Paul,

 

You have amazing hair. Speak on that.

oh, that's right.

[Dads for Butt Stuff 753]

they should change it to "pubic hair", out of respect. Seems like the only dignified thing to do

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Hey, Paul, are you having a good time? Honestly? I've heard that we're bad at asking questions, and it's gotta be a little draining for you.

[mwn 5470]

Hello Mr. Rust,

 

What's the closest you've ever been to outer space? (Airplane rides do NOT count, but mountains and really big motorcycle jumps do.)

 

 

I will not apologize for asking bad questions. Never, ever, ever. This is who I am.

[NoahTomaszewski 2768]

Hey Paul, how bout that stock market huh?

[Rose_Cream 1246]

Dear Mr. Rust,

 

How many other people named Paul do you know, and could you please name them? Also, how many people have you slept with?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Dear Paul,

 

What do you think is the funniest kind of bug?

[Who Comma Mike Jones 154]

Dear Paul,

 

When you worked on I Love You, Beth Cooper, how did best boy rigging grip Julian Bosse's breath smell?

[elizamuffins 4228]

Paul,

 

Do these pants make my butt look fat?

[Dads for Butt Stuff 753]

They're gonna need a big bag of popcorn to fit all these questions.

 

Hi Valerie

I like you too