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One of my all time favorite bad movies. They make no excuses of what this is but holy shit is it amazing. This is the kind of movie that is tailor made for HDTGM. "You think is a fuckin' costume? This is a way of life!" - Suicide

I doubt they would ever do this movie but everytime I watch it I leave thinking "Wtf did I just watch?". -Who is Green Eyes? * -Why is the repeating musical theme comedic in tone? * -If Frank Langella was willing to kill everyone for the other books why even send Corso at all? * -How did the black albino not notice a red Ferrari tailing him for hours on an empty highway? * -Why does Green Eyes use kung fu? * -Who killed Bernie and hung him up like the engraving? * -Are the chefs seen in the mansion kitchen part of some Satanic orgy catering service? * -Who could maintain an erection while banging an obvious demon outside of a burning castle? * -Did none of the cult members notice Green Eyes FLYING down to Corso in the mansion? * -Why doesn't the manly French secretary tell the police Corso murdered her boss? * -Did God try to kill Corso with the falling scaffolding? Can't God just kill whoever he wants whenever? * -Wouldn't Corso ask "wtf is wrong with your weird eyes?" at some point? * -Are the book store twins one actor in horrible split screen?? Why?? * -Why would Corso leave Green Eyes alone in the car at the last gas station after her other vanishing acts? * -Why does Corso run down steps to escape the albino and then walk up the next steps about ten feet away to the same street the albino was on? * -Green Eyes stops Corso from saving Lena Olin from Frank Langella because "he just committed a murder in public. Now you're off the hook for the other murders." WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO CALL THE POLICE FROM AN ELITE BILLIONAIRE SATANIC SEX ORGY??? And if Green Eyes is helping Corso go through the Ninth Gate why the fuck would she care about his police entanglements? Do arrest warrants carry over to Hell?? * -Wtf happens at the end???? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T5mhtHf8T4

OK newbie here. How does 'Musical Mondays' work? When do we discuss what we watch?

I think it’s funny that in Never Too Young to Die Gene Simmons is trying to get the “RAM-K” and in Runaway he’s trying to get “Ramsay.” Do you think Gene Simmons’ blossoming acting career was derailed by typecasting?

Are you suggesting that this movie isn't as good as Mission: Impossible?

I agree that this is unusually respectful, given that we are in the era of Short Round and Long Duck Dong. But I will also point out that when you boil this movie down, it's still about some extremely skilled and competent non-white characters (Cliff and Danja) who get shunted to the side so that the clueless, inexperienced young white guy is able to inexplicably save the day.

In a shocking twist, Cameron H is smarter than the bozos who wrote this movie!

Is the biker-filled club where Stamos sees Velvet Von Ragner for the first time the same biker-filled club Whatshisnuts rescues Diane Lane from in Streets of Fire?

A few things I want to talk about after listening to the episode. First George Lazenby is nowhere near the worst Bond, that is easily Timothy Dalton. Lazenby is probably my third favorite Bond after Connery and Craig, and might have been higher if he didn't get into a huge fight with the producers about how he was to promote the film, and basically leaving the contract he had for another five films if I remember correctly. The Hulu documentary about Lazenby getting the role is one of the best documentaries I've seen in years and gives quite a bit of information on the whole process of how they looked to replace Connery as Bond. Also, I was surprised to hear that this movie cost three million as there was some big production pieces and special effects in the film. This was more shocking in comparison to Yes Giorgio that somehow cost nineteen million and looked like utter dog shit. As for Gene Simmons' wig, I was starting to think that he was wearing TWO wigs, the orange Coruthers one and the big Rocky Horror one, because there is no feasible way he could fit that mass of hair under a cap in order to put on the orange wig, it was easier to see it as him having one wig in his backpack or supply pouch and would switch as necessary. With the club that Stamos rides his motorbike to, there are literally dozens of people also riding their bikes up the elevator into that club and are running the bikes on the dance floor. My question is how the fuck is not everyone in that club dead from carbon monoxide poisoning because there seems to be no ventilation in that club at all? Was it confirmed that Vanity was having sex with Lazenby? Because with how she was mourning him I thought they were in a relationship, which would mean that Stamos was an eskimo brother with his own father. Finally, since this movie seems to be the template used for young teens/adults becoming spies, can we please have If Looks Could Kill starring RIchard Greico covered by the show, because that movie is an utter disaster?

Elder Stargrove doesn’t know his left from his right.

I looked this up as soon as they mentioned it and it blew my mind!

Okay, the Kiss Kaskets were brought up. Dimebag Darrell and his brother, Vinnie Paul were buried in them. So, if it's good enough for Vinnie and Dime of Pantera, then it's good enough for everybody else. But, Kiss Kaskets are just the tip of the iceberg. Some other "interesting" merch items. - "Tongue Lubricated" Kiss Kondoms - Kiss Mr Potato Head - Kiss Checkers - Kiss Air Guitar Strings On top of all that Gene Simmons was recently selling his own branded "Gene Simmons Vault". And for $2000, you get 10 CDs, with over 150 unreleased songs featuring a who's who of music, as well as a special edition action figure, a comemorative "In Gene We Trust" coin, and a special book with unseen pictures throughout his career. And the best part is? Gene will deliver it to you personally! He did not respond when I asked him if he would chuck some Shannon Tweed movies in there for that price.

Wrestling absolutely is a real man's sport. Because Kurt Angle won the Olympic Gold Medal, with a broken fucking neck! He broke his fucking neck, won the fucking Olympics for America, IN America, then he cried, because it was just too much fucking AMERICA to handle. If Kurt Angle can't handle that much AMERICA, do you know how much AMERICA that fucking is?! It's fucking LOADS!! I could handle it, because I'm British, and the term "Yeah, that's alright, that is." is considered HIGH praise.

How old is Lance and Vanity supposed to be? I assumed that was college but the dude in the limo said he couldn't get to any money until he was 21 so he's supposedly 18-20, and Vanity is..... 25???

Even for being a genius inventor in the 80s he wasn't once referred to as a nerd that nobody wanted around! He was maybe even more useful than Lance was considering how willing he was to also jump into action. What disappointed me was that Cliff didn't get to answer for himself when he was also offered a position as a spy, but he didn't protest and I guess went back to college too but I would think he would've been much happier building things that could be used to help people.

I think something needs to be said for how progressive Cliff's performance is, considering the context of when this movie was made. He's an Asian-American supporting character from the 80's that doesn't speak with an embarrassing accent or make offensive Asian metaphors. The fact that he's Asian-American isn't even referenced, which seems pretty much unthought of back then. Granted, he's a genius inventor, which could be considered a stereotype, but at least it's not an offensive one, which was a rarity.

I figured Ragnar had Lance figured by seeing him with Danja, and because Pyramid had seen him at the stables. By shouting "Stargrove" at him, Ragnar was just checking to see what kind of reaction he'd get and whether Lance would cave right there. For being a top-level spy (or spy adjacent), Danja's not so great at being inconspicuous.

Thus Lance saying "name" is what tipped off Ragnar that he was there under false pretenses, leading to the bug sweep. Never underestimate the mental acuity of Velvet von Ragnar.

It's all a result of Road Warrior/Mad Max 2 which predated all of these.

Yeah, I knew he was a bad guy from the way the camera lingered, but I didn't realize it was Ragnar until he said he's close. Then it was obvious. Similarly, I had no idea that Ragnar was Simmons until I saw the tongue and looked up the cast,

Hilarious episode. My favorite part of the movie had to be Cliff. He is an absolute first ballot entry into the Roommate Hall of Fame. There is a good chance that Cliff and Lance never met before getting randomly paired up for their dorm assignment. Then a year or two later absolutely no questions asked he is a killing machine against impossible odds to help out Lance. Normally you are just happy if you have a roommate that keeps things relatively clean. Cliff puts everyone to shame. I don't know if the movie made this explicitly clear but Ragnar killed Carruthers and then assumed his identity, right? It makes me think the real Carruthers must not have had a great working relationship with his coworkers if no one in this organization ever batted an eye at his replacement. Also he must have had no friends or family to notice that he had gone missing. That unseen character is really bumming me out.

Watching this film, it struck me that If John Stamos at some point doesn't play Zac Efron's dad (if he hasn't already) it will be a true shame.

you must have just watched this movie because i've seen it multiple times and still have no fucking clue what happens to the point that i couldn't even think of what questions to ask aside from "why."

Yeah, this would work as a 'OMG THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING' episode. Because, ya know, OMG THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING.

While this movie IS terrible, it's also probably too disturbing to make a bunch of people watch it. because it has shit-eating and rape.