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Top 5 movies for you personnally that they have not done yet

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With more Star Wars coming and the awfulness of the Prequels and even the Holiday Special extraordinarily played-out at this point, I think this would be a great choice for an episode. Good News Nerds: There is still further depths down the Star Wars craphole for stuff worth making fun of, and that's coming from someone whose nerdom comes directly from his love of Star Wars.

 

Lucas really milked the Star Wars property for all it was worth. I'm not that mad at him though. With the money he created ILM and really advanced incorporating computer models into movies.

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1) Congo: all-around goofy, Tim Curry is ridiculous, Ernie Hudson just wants a paycheck, Joe Don Baker yells a lot, Amy the gorilla is creepy. Rife with material for June theories and Jason "next level bonkers" moments.

 

2) Richie Rich: This was like Macaulay Culkin's last attempt to star in a big movie before doing decent indie stuff later in years. It's a movie based on a comic strip and cartoon, but has really out-of-place adult tension and drama. One scene features a CGI bee sting a guy in the butt, and then the next has John Larroquette shooting at the parents? lol

 

3) 2 Fast 2 Furious: I love most of the Fast and Furious movies, but the second one is so bad and the entire script is like old people picked up what teenagers were saying in 2003 and turned it into a whole film. This or Fast & Furious might be the worst in the franchise.

 

4) Batman: The Movie (1966): It's of course going to campy, and watching it recently I loved it, but god there are SO MANY WTF moments I think the crew's heads would explode. "Let's leave inconspicuously. We'll go out the window by rope!"

 

5) The Wizard: It's so infamous in game nerds to hear people who don't have THAT much experience with videogames would be fantastic.

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1) The Peanut Butter Solution. I might be too hopeful, but I think this one might happen some day.

 

2) The Star Wars Holiday Special. This Christmas if possible.

 

3) Troll 2. I know they said they didn't want to do this one, but I would still love it. Yeah, other people have done it, but all of those people have unique sensibilities and points of view. Besides, just bring the little kid turned documentarian on the show.

 

4) The Wizard

 

5) The Story of Ricky

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Tango & Cash - I know, I know, we had a bunch of Stallone movies recently but I think that this one is corny, fun and ridiculous and deserves to be made.

 

Kazaam/Steel - Shaq.

 

Tyler Perry's Temptation - I just want to hear their take on a Tyler Perry movie

 

No Holds Barred - I watched this a couple of weeks ago and do not want it to be in vain.

 

Junior - It's their logo!

 

Holy shit! Not to pat myself on the back too much but I'm about to dislocate my arm here.

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1. Con Air & Face/Off - Solely for a Nic Cage fix. I would love to see them do a double feature live show of these two like they did for Stallone's Demolition Man and Over the Top.

 

2. Dreamcatcher - From shit weasels to Donnie Wahlberg going full tard, this movie is insane.

 

3. Southland Tales - This could easily be the first HDTGM episode that is 2 hrs long.

 

4. No Hold Barred or Ready to Rumble - The fact that these movies try to make wrestling seem real but fail even to do that. Plus the whole history behind Rumble is enough to fill a 90 minute episode.

 

5. Daredevil - Blind Ben Affleck, enough said.

Sorry but I think I deserve a pat as well for the Cage double feature and then No Holds Barred and Daredevil.

 

Here is my updated list:

 

1. The Happening - I know it will probably never happen, but I can dare to dream.

 

2. Dreamcatcher - shit weasels

 

3. Southland Tales - Cars fucking, enough said.

 

4. Ready to Rumble - still a perfect movie for the show, especially considering the behind the scenes shit involved with that film.

 

5. Hackers - The most 90s movie ever made.

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Dreamcatcher - the most HDTGM film of all time.

 

The Happening - off the charts hilarious. How Marky Mark became a leading man is a mystery for the ages.

 

Death Wish 3 - Bronson vs. the cast of Breakin'

 

Double Impact - height of JCVD awesomeness.

 

Little Nicky - Sandler's entire filmography is garbage. With that said, this one is heads and shoulders above his other trash.

 

 

 

 

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My new 5 would be:

Citizen Kane - Jason, you're going to hate this movie. Get this, this big billionaire is sad because he lost his sled!! Can you believe some people actually think this piece of shit is a good movie?

</one time poster>

 

For real though (the first three I agree with others):

Dreamcatcher - I Dudditz

 

Double Impact - Probably the JCVD movie with the most to discuss that does not have Dennis Rodman or based on a video game

 

Now You See Me - The ultimate fuck you of an ending

 

From Paris With Love - Bald Travolta and Jonathan Rhys Myers walking around Paris with a vase full of cocaine.

 

Chill Factor - Post-Oscar Cuba Gooding Jr. and the poor man's Johnny Depp in a missfire of an action comedy.

 

Honorable mention: Hard Rain and Black Dog

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Earth Girls are Easy- as I said before

The Mask 2 Son of Mask- Horrible sequel to a classic. A CGI baby trying to murder his father and Alan Cummings dressed as an emo screaming 'Where's my mask?' None of the original cast except for the bloke who played the shrink.

Shock Treatment- Not a bad film, just very strange and ambitious. Worth it just for Ruby Wax's reaction to a dead seagull.

Carry On Emmaneulle or Columbus. - The Carry Ons are a institution in the UK but these two were shocking. First one is a spoof of a porno where Kenneth Williams is pleasured by a woman while parachuting. Second has a bunch of 80s alternative comics doing gags from the 60s and poor Jim Dale looking lost.

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1. The Day After Tomorrow (My favorite bad movie maybe ever?)

2. Dreamcatcher (Have to agree with everything that has been said already)

3. Johnny Mnemonic (Just recently saw this and...what the fuck?!)

4. Cool World (Never have seen it but I have heard a lot about how fucking bad this is and I'm really interested)

5. Baby Geniuses (I remember vaguely enjoying this as a kid but it would be interesting to see how much I hate it as an adult)

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I agree with a lot of the suggestions here, but here are my (current) top five:

 

1) Airborne (1993)

2) Monster Squad (1987)

3 The Haunting (1999)

4) Blank Check (1994)

5) An American Summer (1990)

 

Granted--aside from Monster Squad which I watched on Halloween--I can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen any of these, so maybe my memory of how good/bad they are might be skewed, but I think they'd each make for good episodes.

 

And since I'm the only person in the world who remembers An American Summer, I'm attaching the trailer below. For those who don't know, it's an update of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer starring a young Brian Austin Green as "Finley."

 

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1. The Stabilizer - put on your best leopard print pants and mesh shirt combo, settle in a take a load off your cleated feet, grab a live iguana for a snack, pour some champagne on your lady and follow the location map to action.

 

2. Lady in the Water - narf! nuff said

 

3. Equilibrium - who knew that portraying all the characters in a movie as wooden emotionless drones could be bad? At least it taught me that the best thing to do in a gunfight is stand stock still and pretend im a water sprinkler except with bullets.

 

4. Mission Impossible 2 - the story of Ethan Hunt running and jumping around like a kid at recess, also spinning. Somewhere around him a movie happens.

 

5. The Covenant - majick boyz, good movies can kiss its ass.

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3 The Haunting (1999)

 

Have you ever seen the original? I can't think of a movie where a remake completely disregards the point of the original more than The Haunting. It would be like a Don Quixote movie where he is literally fighting windmill monsters and is of sound mind.

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It would be like a Don Quixote movie where he is literally fighting windmill monsters and is of sound mind.

 

But what if its instead based on Super Don Quixote?

 

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And here I was thinking I was being absurd...

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1. Solarbabies - I really can't reiterate enough how essential it is they do this movie. Or that you all go out and watch what is easily one of the most eighties movies you will ever dare to force your eyeballs to sit through.

 

2. Skateboard Kid 2 ( Its a movie with a talking skateboard voiced by Dom Deluise)

 

3. The Next Karate Kid - Michael Ironside physically threatens a teenage girl and an eldery asian gentleman in what is easily the most fucking bizarre of the Karate Kid movies. And that includes the one with Jaden Smith where his mother decides out of fucking nowhere that moving to China despite knowing apparently nothing about both the culture or the language is a super good idea.

 

4. The Karate Kid - I give up just do this one too. Aside from Jaden Smith's fictional mother's poor decisions, theres also weird far too grown up love story shit going on between two ten year olds. Not too mention its a movie about really young kids beating the piss out of each other.

 

5. Broken Arrow- Howie Long, insanely overcomplicated plots, the fact that Travolta and Slater have like a millions times more sexual chemistry with each other than Slater ever does with his supposed love interest in this movie, who just happens to be fucking princess daisy from Super Mario Bros.

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The Village - Any M.Night Shyamalan movie really, but for me this one takes the cake.

 

Wing Commander - Another in the awful video game movie adaptations.

 

Highlander 1&2 - I put these together because you really need to see the first one to get just how terrible the second one is. Don't get me wrong, on its own The Quickening" is bad, but you you it gets even crazier when you see how they totally destroy the world they set up in the first one. That and there is a TON of information about what happened on this film

 

James Bond 007: Die Another Day - Madonna in a Bond movie

 

Little Man -

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1. The Day After Tomorrow (My favorite bad movie maybe ever?)

2. Dreamcatcher (Have to agree with everything that has been said already)

3. Johnny Mnemonic (Just recently saw this and...what the fuck?!)

4. Cool World (Never have seen it but I have heard a lot about how fucking bad this is and I'm really interested)

5. Baby Geniuses (I remember vaguely enjoying this as a kid but it would be interesting to see how much I hate it as an adult)

Day After Tomorrow is shit and would be perfect for the show, as would Dreamcatcher. How have you only just witnessed the awesome badness of Johnny Mnemonic and are you amazed that the human brain can only reasonably hold 80GB of memory? My iPod holds more than that. I remember Cool World being crazy but I can't remember too many specifics since it's been awhile since I've seen it. I remember hating Baby Geniuses even as a kid.

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Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Deadly Friend

On Deadly Ground

Til There Was You

Flowers in the Attic (the 1987 feature film)

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Day After Tomorrow is shit and would be perfect for the show, as would Dreamcatcher. How have you only just witnessed the awesome badness of Johnny Mnemonic and are you amazed that the human brain can only reasonably hold 80GB of memory? My iPod holds more than that. I remember Cool World being crazy but I can't remember too many specifics since it's been awhile since I've seen it. I remember hating Baby Geniuses even as a kid.

I literally had never even heard of Johnny Mnemonic until Doug Benson did an interruption of it here! And it was fucking insane!!! I'm amazed about that and also that if you start pushing that limit you go into crazy memory seizures! I need them to cover this movie pronto because of just so many reasons.

 

Also I can't believe I forgot about Queen of the Damned, which is another one of my favorite terrible movies. I might take out Baby Geniuses for that because I care more about them doing QotD.

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4. Cool World (Never have seen it but I have heard a lot about how fucking bad this is and I'm really interested)

 

If they ever do "Cool World" the guests have to be Phil Lord and Christopher Miller ( Clone High, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 1, The Lego Movie, 21 & 22 Jumpstreet ) On an episode of the Comedy Bang Bang podcast they touched on "Cool World" briefly but they know the subject matter... They're the men for the job.

 

Now My List...

 

1. Predestination (2014)

 

2. Muck (2015)

 

3. Hidden (2015)

 

4. The Crush (1993)

 

5. The Babysitter (1995)

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1.) The Hitman (1991): This is the best Chuck Norris film HDTGM could do. Plenty of great one liners and an awesome storyline, where Chuck Norris plays this undercover cop that infiltrates the mob and in doing so becomes a cold blooded, remorseless killer, who is also still a good guy... Plus this film features the greatest movie ending ever!

 

2.) The Scout (1994): Arguably Brendan Frazier's worst film. This box office bomb, is marketed as a comedy, but it tries very hard to be a sincere emotional drama, which it fails at miserably. I get that a lot of movies are supposed to have a suspension of disbelief, but 'The Scout' expecting us to believe that Brendan Frazier is an undiscovered mexican baseball god, is a little too much to ask of anyone. In this movie, not only does Brendan Frazier pitch a perfect game, every single time he pitches (a feat only accomplished 23 times in the entire 100+ year history of MLB), he also breaks the single game strikeout record too... BY 7! All whilst only using 81 pitches (a strike every pitch). As if all that wasn't absurd enough, he also literally bats 1.000 and scores a HR every single time he's at bat. I can't explain how stupid this movie is.

 

3.) Suburban Commando (1991): Hulk Hogan as an alien warrior fighting other aliens on earth... What more needs to be said, besides "How did this get made?"

 

4.) The Toy (1982): Richard Pryor is bought by a rich white family with connections to the KKK in this family friendly kids movie. Also featured is Richard Pryor giving sex advice to a 9 year old, Richard Pryor cross dressing, and this 9 year old wanting "to play with him (Richard Pryor)" during his bath.

 

5.) Dead Man On Campus (1998): A comedy about suicide, that features a cast of insanely, wacky over the top characters to poke fun at. This would make for a great episode of HDTGM.

 

 

dishonerable mention: Powder and Never Back Down.

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1. Remember Me (2010)

2. The Happening (2008)

3. Fathers Day (1997)

4. Chill Factor (1999)

5. Red Riding Hood (2011)

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A lot of Dreamcatcher on here.

 

I remember seeing news that the book was being made into a movie. Having read the book, my first reaction was: that is NOT a book that translates into a 2-hour movie. In any way. At all. Ever. By any hand.

 

When the least butchered thing in that movie was Beaver's asshole, you know it was a HDTGM movie.

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1. Vampire's Kiss - 1989. The absolute peak of Nicholas Cage insanity and the source of too many memes and gifs.

 

2. Now you see me - 2013. A real turd here, with too much charisma on screen to ignore which is all sleight of hand to distract you from the laughable plot line. I think it would lead to a LOT of great June theories and general disagreement and confusion of plot.

 

3. Fantastic Four - 2015. Just an absolute disaster in movie-making. I'd hope they'd get a nerdy guest to talk about it with like Posehn. One of those movies where the real answers to "how did this get made" are fascinating.

 

4. Lucy - 2014. Luc Besson at maybe his worst. I think everything about this movie is worth laughing at. The drug, the asian crime boss, the setup, the science and retarded exposition, using morgan freeman as a shortcut to make your premise more believable, the outrageous catch-phrase, the crazy bananas lengths to which they stretch the premise by the end. The rapidly evolving and almost random progression of her powers. Scarjo's brutal teleprompter line delivery. The many many brutal cutscenes of animals, molecules, anatomy, time-travel, etc, that are cut into live action scenes. Probably the selection which best lends itself to Mantzoukas gross-sex jokes.

 

5. The Pacifier - 2005. Young Vin Diesel as a navy seal turned nanny in a children's comedy. Just bonkers, complete with ninjas, home-alone-style home security, rube goldberg-esque raiders of the lost ark style treasure gauntlet, gender-norm-challenging musical scene, completely made up hand-to-hand combat techniques, and VinnyD getting outmatched by children.

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