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JulyDiaz

Episode 130 - Teen Witch

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This movie is cray, but it a lot of it makes sense if you wanna get all film school about how it's about the "female gaze," female desire, etc. Jake is a coquettish goober or whatever, but he's no worse than billions of female "love interests" in movies. (That said, you're a crummy friend, Luis.)

I think this is an excellent point. I still feel like it uses the "female gaze" incorrectly because despite the way it focuses on Brad's physique the message of the movie is still that you need that kind of man to satisfy you.

 

I was trying to think of some other movies that I feel use the "female gaze" more correctly and I have to say the MCU actually does this pretty well (not including Age of Ultron for obvious reasons that don't need to be gone into again right now lol). They love to focus on Jeremy Renner's arms when he shoots (a personal favorite of mine), Chris Evans' nice ass at any point (okay another personal favorite of mine), and then Chris Hemsworth's torso any time he is shirtless. Especially in Thor 2 when they legit pan down his abs at one point. It's marvelous that they take all of that into consideration and don't just focus on the bodies of Scarlett, Cobie, etc...

 

Anyway my point is that it seems like Teen Witch is still trying to force a certain way of thinking onto women while using the "female gaze" when other movies are able to avoid that.

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I was trying to think of some other movies that I feel use the "female gaze" more correctly and I have to say the MCU actually does this actually pretty well (not including Age of Ultron for obvious reasons that don't need to be gone into again right now lol).

What's wrong with AoU, tayloranne? I don't think we've ever heard your thoughts on it... :)

It's marvelous that they take all of that into consideration and don't just focus on the bodies of Scarlett, Cobie, etc...

I see what you did there.

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What's wrong with AoU, tayloranne? I don't think we've ever heard your thoughts on it... :)

Hardy har har. Don't play with me, Fister, that movie struck a nerve with all of us lol.

 

I see what you did there.

I wish I could say that was intentional.

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Quite late to the party again, but isn't Jason basically the smartest guy in the room at all times? He's always very eloquent with all kinds of classical or kind of highbrow references like using the word diegetic in context in this podcast.

 

In the last one it was him noticing that The Apple's story was resolved by a deus ex machina where God literally emerges from a machine.

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Yes, TW is by no means feminist or queer-friendly or subversive (unless you're Celluloid Closeting it). It's more or less your basic '80s teen movie (Weird Science, Can't Buy Me Love), just with somewhat reductive/heteronormative/white/middle class female power fantasies instead of reductive/heteronormative/white/middle class male ones. I think the female power fantasy thing alone though is a big part of what makes it so fun/beloved.

 

The magic didn't trip me up either, especially if you tie it to adolescence/puberty/ sexy awakenings. Zelda and Luis are witches who reincarnate. Their powers start up when they're 16, and at first, when its weak/unintentional, water can ruin their spells (they also run out of power faster when they're inexperienced; they have to build up, like w/cardio). They get stronger (the amulet just focuses power, like a prism and a light beam) and then, when they get older, they get weaker.

 

This book series is unrelated, but it has some of the same hand-wavey magic principles

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/657637.Lucky_13

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Nice! They used my theme for the Second Opinions theme!

 

And on a semi-related note... has anyone seen "Just One of the Guys?" Its another 80s movie where the main character's little brother has all the funny lines.

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Nice! They used my theme for the Second Opinions theme!

Nice job on the theme! You made the old theme sound like something other than a mishmash of off-key nonsense (which, btw, I still love).

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Nice! They used my theme for the Second Opinions theme!

 

And on a semi-related note... has anyone seen "Just One of the Guys?" Its another 80s movie where the main character's little brother has all the funny lines.

 

Nice work getting your theme used!

 

Fun fact: Just One Of The Guys" was a PG-13 film in the US but its rating in apartheid-era South Africa was the equivalent of R because they disapproved of the cross-dressing theme. No one under 18 was allowed to see it.

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I love how Paul would totally run a bitch off the road and then just leave her there.

 

What? You want a ride home? SEAT'S TAKEN.

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I've never kept a diary or anything, but is it normal to write what basically amounts to erotic fan fiction? I mean, I get it if she wrote, "Brad is so cute," or "I wish Brad would kiss me all over my body." I'll even take, "I had a dream last night that Brad fucked the Jesus out of my life." What I don't get is fictional erotic prose written in the first person. Isn't the point of a diary to document your real life and dreams and not made up bullshit?

 

Also, Brad is a pretty common name and she didn't include his last name. I'm aware that, if this were to occur in real life and there happened to be a boy named Brad in class, there would probably be some teasing, but I think it is pretty presumptuous of everyone to jump to the conclusion that he's the Brad she's writing about. And, if it is just understood that he is the Brad in question, why the Hell isn't Randa jumping out of her seat and screaming, "What the fuck, Brad?!?"

 

Luis wrote:

 

"He pressed his lips against mine, but he didn't stop there...Soon, every inch of my body was covered in Brad's lips. Who would have thought--tonight, I would be all his?"

 

There is nothing in that to imply that it didn't actually happen. If anything, it suggest that it 100% did happen. What the fuck Randa? Respect yourself!

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And on a semi-related note... has anyone seen "Just One of the Guys?" Its another 80s movie where the main character's little brother has all the funny lines.

 

Just One of the Guys is one of my all time favorite eighties movies!

 

"Dresses like Elvis Costello, looks like the Karate Kid--I'm gonna get him!"

 

jotg.png

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I've never kept a diary or anything, but is it normal to write what basically amounts to erotic fan fiction?

Ummm...it's erotic friend fiction.

 

erotic-fiction-1422584338.gif

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ITA about the U2 import line being a ridiculous lie. So according to Luis, imports aren't records imported from one country to another, but rather, they are records sung in the native or classical language of the country from which they are imported? Oh boy!

 

I just loved this episode. "Luis vs Louise," "AmUlet vs AMulet," "There's no way that kid takes baths." Amazing.

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So, the jerk teacher of whom Luis Guzman makes a conspicuously large voodoo doll is played by Shelley Berman. Fun fact: he claimed that Bob Newhart stole the one-sided phone call bit from him (Newhart claims that it had been around much longer and that he remembers listening to George Jessel do it on the radio when he was a kid).

 

Anyway, I have a question about his class. Where the fuck exactly does his class take place? Like, the back wall looks like a library reference section. There are steps leading down from the door of the classroom to the students' desks. He's up on a stage that has a random-ass bust on an even more random-ass pedestal.

 

When I watched the scene where he's bullying her, I had to rewatch it about three times because I couldn't wrap my head around the fucking room they were in.

 

Also, people already touched on the wardrobe choices earlier in this thread, but I have to say that it's disturbing how much of the clothing here is shit that I could easily see on hipsters in east Austin. I don't understand it, but I guess that's why

 

teen-witch-image-teen-witch-36146336-500-230.gif

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So, the jerk teacher of whom Luis Guzman makes a conspicuously large voodoo doll is played by Shelley Berman. Fun fact: he claimed that Bob Newhart stole the one-sided phone call bit from him (Newhart claims that it had been around much longer and that he remembers listening to George Jessel do it on the radio when he was a kid).

 

Anyway, I have a question about his class. Where the fuck exactly does his class take place? Like, the back wall looks like a library reference section. There are steps leading down from the door of the classroom to the students' desks. He's up on a stage that has a random-ass bust on an even more random-ass pedestal.

 

When I watched the scene where he's bullying her, I had to rewatch it about three times because I couldn't wrap my head around the fucking room they were in.

 

Also, people already touched on the wardrobe choices earlier in this thread, but I have to say that it's disturbing how much of the clothing here is shit that I could easily see on hipsters in east Austin. I don't understand it, but I guess that's why

 

teen-witch-image-teen-witch-36146336-500-230.gif

 

 

Real talk, if I went to that HS with Polly I'd ask her out. Understatedly cute, confident, smart. And as mentioned, a very strong hat game.

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Real talk, if I went to that HS with Polly I'd ask her out. Understatedly cute, confident, smart. And as mentioned, a very strong hat game.

Who is this Polly you speak of?

 

(Hats is 100% my type, too)

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tumblr_o34fmq6Zsu1qh6q1co1_1280.png

 

Guys help me with this Guzman family home set decoration. Were bannister bows a thing? That seems unsafe and also insane.

 

Also, I was pleased that Luis looked like my favorite Barbie (and also my avatar).

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I've never kept a diary or anything, but is it normal to write what basically amounts to erotic fan fiction? I mean, I get it if she wrote, "Brad is so cute," or "I wish Brad would kiss me all over my body." I'll even take, "I had a dream last night, that Brad fucked the Jesus out of my life." What I don't get is fictional erotic prose written in the first person. Isn't the point of a diary to document your real life and dreams and not made up bullshit?

 

Also, Brad is a pretty common name and she didn't include his last name. I'm aware that, if this were to occur in real life and there happened to be a boy named Brad in class, there would probably be some teasing, but I think it is pretty presumptuous of everyone to jump to the conclusion that he's the Brad she's writing about. And, if it is just understood that he is the Brad in question, why the Hell isn't Randa jumping out of her seat and screaming, "What the fuck, Brad?!?"

 

Luis wrote:

 

"He pressed his lips against mine, but he didn't stop there...Soon, every inch of my body was covered in Brad's lips. Who would have thought--tonight, I would be all his?"

 

There is nothing in that to imply that it didn't actually happen. If anything, it suggest that it 100% did happen. What the fuck Randa? Respect yourself!

 

I think that it's just efficient to have private stuff all in one book. You only need one hiding spot or lock/key for all your mortifyingly embarrassing musings

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Anyway, I have a question about his class. Where the fuck exactly does his class take place? Like, the back wall looks like a library reference section. There are steps leading down from the door of the classroom to the students' desks. He's up on a stage that has a random-ass bust on an even more random-ass pedestal.

 

When I watched the scene where he's bullying her, I had to rewatch it about three times because I couldn't wrap my head around the fucking room they were in.

 

I had two separate issues with that scene. First of all, I can't stand when people go on and on, like the teacher does in the movie, about people wasting other people's time and how they are being a disruption. I know it fits his character, but no, dude--at this point--you're the one wasting everybody's time. A simple, "Please see me after class" will suffice and you can continue with your lecture.

 

But that brings me to my second issue. It would have been nice had the movie took a moment to explain why she's late in the first place. I mean, she appears to be significantly late--he's in the middle of his lecture, and everyone is seated quietly. What the Hell was she doing? She doesn't walk in breathlessly. She doesn't try to explain or apologize. She also doesn't have such an active social life that she might have got caught up talking with her friends. She just sort of walks right on in. Uh, we're on a schedule here at Upper to Upper Middle Class White People Only High School, Missy! Do try to respect that.

 

By the way, I found their school mascot online:

 

ecMkzMMei.jpeg

 

 

 

I think that it's just efficient to have private stuff all in one book. You only need one hiding spot or lock/key for all your mortifyingly embarrassing musings

 

Fair enough.

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Anyway, I have a question about his class. Where the fuck exactly does his class take place? Like, the back wall looks like a library reference section. There are steps leading down from the door of the classroom to the students' desks. He's up on a stage that has a random-ass bust on an even more random-ass pedestal.

 

When I watched the scene where he's bullying her, I had to rewatch it about three times because I couldn't wrap my head around the fucking room they were in.

 

This drove me nuts as well. Also there are multiple shots where you can clearly see that it is a set based on the ceiling.

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But that brings me to my second issue. It would have been nice had the movie took a moment to explain why she's late in the first place. I mean, she appears to be significantly late--he's in the middle of his lecture, and everyone is seated quietly. What the Hell was she doing? She doesn't walk in breathlessly. She doesn't try to explain or apologize. She also doesn't have such an active social life that she might have got caught up talking with her friends. She just sort of walks right on in. Uh, we're on a schedule here at Upper to Upper Middle Class White People Only High School, Missy! Do try to respect that.

This is a really good point. In the scene directly before, she was talking to the popular girls at her locker. Were they late to their classes, too? Or did a significant amount of time pass between those two scenes?

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Also, if you look at the interior design Luis's house, it's decorated in a duck theme, because it's an ugly duckling movie.

 

And because witches and ducks weigh the same.

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