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JulyDiaz

Episode 143 - Gods of Egypt

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Gods are powered by mortal faith, a point addressed in Clash of Titans and other films/books/etc I forget. It makes no sense for Freya to have anything to do with Maori tribes, or Buddha giving blessings to Vikings. Horus can't do shit in Japan because nobody believes in him there, and he can't interact with gods from other cultures because neither he nor his followers acknowledge them. Gods can't will their own existence into being through their faith in themselves; their power is directly related to how many followers they have.

 

*Also, this would explain the flat Earth in the movie; that is simply the scope of the world as the mortals and therefore their gods see it. (I actually thought that was a neat detail.)

 

How about this? The movie takes place in Bek's head as he dies (I assume after getting crushed by a falling building), like Jacob's Ladder. That's why it's so nonsensical and thinks the world is flat.

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Gods are powered by mortal faith, a point addressed in Clash of Titans and other films/books/etc I forget. It makes no sense for Freya to have anything to do with Maori tribes, or Buddha giving blessings to Vikings. Horus can't do shit in Japan because nobody believes in him there, and he can't interact with gods from other cultures because neither he nor his followers acknowledge them. Gods can't will their own existence into being through their faith in themselves; their power is directly related to how many followers they have.

 

According to Clash of the Titans rules--maybe. But are we holding that fictional reality up as the sole metaphysical explanation as to how these make-believe things work? Why does it have to follow the CotT's rules? Or anyone else's rules? I'm just positing a hypothetical. Let's cast off the shackles of Clash of the Titans.

 

I know you're not into comic books, but maybe this will work as an analogy anyway: If I'm watching a Batman movie, then in the reality of that movie, the fictional DC Comics character of "Batman" can't possibly exist, right? All I'm doing is applying that same logic to these types of films. If we are doing a movie about Egyptian Gods, and in it we are positing that they are the sole creators of the Universe and of all life, then that automatically negates all other creation myths--unless it doesn't (Hence my Battleworld scenario)

 

So, in the fiction of Gods of Egypt they would have created all life, not just Egyptian life (the title notwithstanding). They are "Egyptian Gods" only insofar as the people of that region dreamed them up. To them, they were the Gods of Everything--including the Maori or whatever. To the ancient Egyptians, the Maori could believe whatever they wanted to, but the Egyptian Gods still created them.

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Did anyone notice Thoth's weird fixation on lettuce? Turns out that actually alludes to what could've been a FAR better movie. According to Egyptian mythology, Set tried to prove his dominance over Horus by seducing him into consensual sex. However, sneaky Horus caught Set's jizz in his hand and tossed it into a river. Horus then spread his own spunk all over Set's favorite food— lettuce!

 

Later, after Set has unwittingly eaten plenty of lettuce with special mayonnaise, there's a meeting of the gods to determine whether Set or Horus should rule Egypt. Set declares his dominance, but his claim is invalidated when the gods "call his semen forth" and it answers from the river. Next, it's Horus's turn. The gods say, "Semen, where you at?" and it answers from Set's belly. Horus wins! Now that's the movie I want to see!

 

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AN OPEN LETTER TO THE REDBOX CUSTOMER WHO RENTED GODS OF EGYPT BEFORE ME.

 

Dear Sir or Madam (Who am I kidding? Statistically, you’re most definitely a man.)

 

I double dog dare you to send that to Redbox customer services.

 

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Thats on there main page...

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How about this? The movie takes place in Bek's head as he dies (I assume after getting crushed by a falling building), like Jacob's Ladder. That's why it's so nonsensical and thinks the world is flat.

 

I was so upset when this movie need to and did, turn into transformers!

as soon as Rufus Sewell showed up in the film. I had a feeling that I knew what direction this is all going in.. and that direction is SPACE!!!

 

This is Dark City Egypt and they are all on a space ship, trapped in a hell that is controlled by false gods.

 

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I was really waiting for Rufus Sewell to break into mind control powers.

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I enjoyed Gods of Egypt a lot. To quote Manohla Dargis, "[E]ven as this movie teases you with its absurdity, it also offers you moments of beauty that shimmer like the outstretched wings of a goddess and moments of wit that surface in a hideaway wittily populated by duplicates of the same god, who’s having a ball talking to himself and himself and himself…."

 

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I'm thinking of getting the DVD. No, not by stealing it from RedBox. I'm gonna wait for the Black Friday sales when it'll probably go for $5.

 

The special effects are often unconvincing, but when they land, they really land. For example, Anubis was impressive, with his hellhound head, human expressions and skin that seems to barely contain his molten flesh. And even when the special effects don't land, the designs are so beautiful and creative that their potential shines through the inadequate execution. For example, Ra's solar barge is very obviously enacted on a sound stage. But the design is still gorgeous and it still manages to evoke the beautiful desolation of being in the heavens.

 

Speaking of the solar barge, I really love the image of the fire ball of sun being towed by the barge over a flat Earth.

 

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Other stuff that I think are cool:

 

- Chaos is a devouring cyclone filled with sharp fangs.

 

- Anat has a snake's forked tongue.

 

- Set's flying chariot is drawn by 2 scarabs.

 

You can see the gifs of those things here.

 

Oh and the acting is great. Like the gang said, no one is phoning it in. For example, Emma Booth, the actress who plays Nephthys, acts her heart out even when she's in the background of a scene.

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So is this show gonna be all identity politics now or what?

What are you referring to?

 

*Does anyone have an honest take on what that guy meant -- I'm curious now.

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i found number 82 of my HDTGM DVD collection yesterday, the awesome Lifeforce.

 

so what do you do when you can't find a quality review to quote on the DVD cover? ... go to amazon reviews?

 

No, too much work, just make one up

 

Talk about bigging yourself up

 

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History Nerd Mode ON:

 

Actually Bek is a real name from Ancient Egypt. I only know this because a couple years ago I was working on a webcomic featuring Egyptian warriors and found a convenient list on Wikipedia and grabbed a couple of names including, just by coincidence, Bek. I was amused to see the name come up again when reading about the movie.

 

And, if you're curious about the comic, check it here: http://adrift-comic.tumblr.com

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All that gold blood was so they could be gory but keep the movie rated PG13.

 

Lots of blood and/or gore = R or NC17 rating.

 

This is why Suckerpunch had steam come out of all those steampunk nazi's and why Kingsmen had animated explosions.

 

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What are you referring to?

 

*Does anyone have an honest take on what that guy meant -- I'm curious now.

 

I think the poster might be referring to the panelists making fun of this movie for casting mainly white actors. The poster also popped into the Phantom thread, asking how you can have "white privilege" in the jungle. So...take that as you will.

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GUYS! How come the Goddess of Protection couldn't protect a goddamn thing in this movie?! Basically everyone dies and every building is destroyed!

 

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God this movie is weird. I saw it in theatres and burst out laughing the first time they mighty morphed into robots. Then it just kept getting weirder. Especially with all the lego God parts like eyes and brains. But the details in the movie are so god damn strange. One of my favorites is this part where Set rips off Isis' wing and when he tosses it, for some fucking reason, it transforms from a beautiful organic wing to a giant stone tablet pictogram of one lol, WHAT

 

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But I think the real saving grace of this movie was that it managed to include my favorite movie trope, somehow, in ancient egypt. The evil selfish architect! He was easily one of the best characters. All the jokes about his OCD were great and the fact they actually drafted up some ridiculous egyptian architectural drawings cracked me up.

 

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GUYS! How come the Goddess of Protection couldn't protect a goddamn thing in this movie?! Basically everyone dies and every building is destroyed!

 

XQIiBR8.gif

 

Because, when we were kids, everybody hated the dick that always said "Nu-uh! I've got a force field!" This is a character based entirely on that.

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I was going to watch this movie yesterday, but I got distracted by the Amazon pilots. Anyone watch The Tick, Jean Claude van Johnson, or I Love Dick?

About Jean-Claude Van Johnson The Decider said, “The cast of How Did This Get Made is going to love this.” They are 1/3 correct so far. Paul likes it. I like it too. The sight of Jean-Claude as a middle-aged, ripped, sai-wielding Huck Finn made me laughed out loud.

 

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(For those who haven't watched the pilot, the lady is Tom Sawyer, and they kissed.) The show also introduced me to this lovely song.

 

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Jean Claude Van Johnson is great. My mother even watched it (I think because it was on the home page of her Fire tablet) and she declared it was "a hoot". Definitely check it out if you're a JCVD fan or enjoy 90s action star irony.

 

One of my favorites is this part where Set rips off Isis' wing and when he tosses it, for some fucking reason, it transforms from a beautiful organic wing to a giant stone tablet pictogram of one lol, WHAT

 

giphy.gif

 

This confused the hell out of me, I thought it turned into a stained glass window and had to rewind it. Like everything in this film, you're not supposed to think too hard about it.

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This confused the hell out of me, I thought it turned into a stained glass window and had to rewind it. Like everything in this film, you're not supposed to think too hard about it.

 

:lol: From what I can gather it seems like the wings were her 'lego piece' like toth's brain and Osiris' heart, etc. He takes them so he can upgrade later and finally fly like Horus. But why are wings her thing if Horus is the lord of the sky? Blegh. If that was the case they should have just started glowing blue like the rest of the lego pieces! Not turn into precious stone bas-relief.

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I've been thinking about this movie alot, especially after rewatching the very excellent Dark City. This movie doesnt deserve to be as low on the tomato meter as it is right now. Theres alot wrong with this film. Like a troubling amount, at the same time I really do have to applaud the ambition on Alex Proyas's part in terms doing something completely original.

 

Egyptian Mythology is fucking crazy. I really cant fault a movie thats based on it also being fucking crazy. This is by no means a five star review, but I do think this movie got an unnecessary amount of scorn. I've seen far too many sequels and terrible remakes over the last couple years that seeing something like this was refreshing despite how batshit insane it is.

 

This movie also (like most new releases) makes me sad that Roger Ebert passed away. I always loved reading his reviews and I know he was a huge fan of Proyas and I'd be really interested to hear his take on this movie.

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This movie also (like most new releases) makes me sad that Roger Ebert passed away. I always loved reading his reviews and I know he was a huge fan of Proyas and I'd be really interested to hear his take on this movie.

Personal story time! I only started to pay attention to movie critics after I read Roger Ebert's review of The Grey. I'm not a big cryer, but after watching The Grey I had to lock myself in a restroom stall for a good 10 minutes before I could stop sobbing, and by the end, I had ran out of tears and was pretty much just gasping. Later, I saw the trailer for Moonrise Kingdom. I like Wes Anderson, but at that time I found myself angrily thinking, my god, can't you do anything that's not twee. I went online hoping to find that I wasn't alone in feeling this way and I found Ebert's review. Here's what he wrote:

I was also stunned with despair. It so happened that there were two movies scheduled that day in the Lake Street Screening Room (where we local critics see many new releases). After "The Grey" was over, I watched the second film for 30 minutes and then got up and walked out of the theater. It was the first time I've ever walked out of a film because of the previous film. The way I was feeling in my gut, it just wouldn't have been fair to the next film.

Ever since then I've been a fan. I regret that I discovered him so late, and I'm sad that he's no longer with us. And I think he would've loved Gods of Egypt.

 

I don't think modern audience are too receptive to ancient mythology. It's too wild, illogical, amoral, distant and metaphorical.

 

Here's another small and quick flash of beauty in "Gods of Egypt". Horus and Bek were at this barren sandy plot of land and Horus told Bek that it used to be the most beautiful garden in Egypt and that Osiris loved it. Set took Osiris to the garden and cut him up into 14 pieces. Bek asked if Set then salted the earth. Horus answered, "No. It was my mother's tears."

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I don't think modern audience are too receptive to ancient mythology. It's too wild, illogical, amoral, distant and metaphorical.

Now I'm curious what you'd think of

. It's based (loosely) on a series of French graphic novels, and feels like The Fifth Element if it were directed by Terry Gilliam instead of Luc Besson and its recognizable actors were replaced with CGI Egyptian gods. It's so goddamned French that I remember watching it with subtitles, but apparently it was an English language film and there were no subtitles.
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I don't have much to say except about the Man of Steel-level of violence as far as impact on ordinary people. Massive columns fall (and people show themselves to be graduates of the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things). Massive buildings fall and how many people get hurt?!?!

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Hey everyone!

 

Some of you might not have noticed but I haven't been here since March. I'm not selfish enough to assume that my absence was noted, but thanks to all of your great corrections and omissions whenever I heard a minisode I felt like I was back here. I won't go into specific details but due to some work and unforeseen personal reasons I was not able to be active with the podcast or the forum. When I was able to catch up a little it'd be four or five episodes at a time, and then felt awkward coming on here because you'd be ten pages deep in comic talk on the minisodes (sadly another thing I was not able to stay active on) or I was too late to talk about the movies. Fortunately for me, and maybe unfortunately for you all, things in my life have stabilized and I am just now finally catching up on all my podcasts and comics. Just in time for the show to go on a break too. Anyway, missed hearing what everything that everybody had to say, but I hope you're all ready to hear some math, possible sequels, and Japanese nonsense again!

 

PS: Congrats to Paul and June on their second child! And congrats to Jason for still being in The Dictator!

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