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Going say it again before I even listen to the episode - Kim Basinger is literally phoning it in for this movie. COME ON!

I honestly just want to see a sitcom about ex cop WHM running a spa. Make it the next Mike Schur project and a B99 spinoff! Perhaps it's co-owned by one Adrian Pimento?

I'm confused as to how WHM didn't recognize that female cop hiding out in KB's house. I understand that the LAPD must be large and not everyone could possibly know everyone, however he seems to know Emmerich and everyone on the fourth floor. That would be her department, no? Didn't they all work together or were they a little more spread throughout LAPD in order to cover all bases? It just doesn't make sense to me that Emmerich would continuously offer a job to WHM and WHM have no clue who is on his squad.

Yeah. The dad was a real idiot. He did probably the worst thing he could have done. He didn't tell anyone he got this footage. Not even his family. It would have been safer for him to just give notable LA resident Jason Statham the phone. They would have probably left him alone. I like that the dad didn't really fight them though. He saw police officers murder a guy and steal his drugs. They are basically Training Day without Denzel's charisma. I'm not fighting them. At most, I'd unsuccessfully try to fend them off before they either beat me up or killed me. I'd probably do whatever they asked.

This movie was dumb and I feel dumber having watched it.

I think it just becomes one of those crazy twist then another twist then another twist crime movies. Certainly could work but something about him being an art thief throws me. Maybe it's just movie stereotypes but it seems like a totally different type of crime even though it's still just breaking and entering and theft. It seems like it doesn't fit with any other type of crime genre film. Everyone being cops was really dumb to me. Six (?) cops knew about a broad day light murder on the streets and they all covered it up? With kidnapping? Just make them drug dealers or something. Maybe have one cop whose in on it but the situation spiraled out of control and keeps getting worse. Also, why didn't Kim Basinger's husband go to the cops in a different precinct? Give it to the news?

Am I mis-remembering or does Chris Evans ask LA-local Jason Statham for a number to reach him on before he heads to the pier? But.... he's already talking to him ON THE PHONE. WHAT??? Chris Evans seems constantly surprised about traffic in LA too which I like. Because if there's one thing everyone knows about LA it's that it rarely if ever has traffic problems. Also some great little moments - William H. Macy saves the goldfish after the shoot out in the house. Kim Basinger does the classic movie trope of checking the sunblind for the car keys and then they're just left sitting by the gear stick! And finally why do they need Macy to ID the kid - Statham saw him with his own eyes, didn't he?

re: the idea that Kim Basinger or her husband would be involved in the crime and yet they turned out to be totally innocent, the original script did call for Kim's character to be involved. Larry Cohen, screenwriter of the 2002 thriller film Phone Booth, conceived of Cellular while working for Sony Pictures. It followed a 30- or 40-year-old man named Theo Novak who obtains a call from a woman named Lenore, who tells him that she and her husband have been abducted in a safehouse by a group of bank robbers. It is then revealed that Novak is an art thief who becomes wracked with guilt after unsuccessfully rescuing a friend from committing suicide in the past; he agrees to make a detour from a criminal undertaking and rescue Lenore. During the rescue Novak is unsuccessful, but later discovers a conspiracy involving Lenore and her accomplices over another crime they are involved with—ultimately, Novak gains the upper hand, killing Lenore and her accomplices and obtains their loot in the process, which leaves him therefore a wealthy man. Fast & Furious writer Chris Morgan was brought on by Dean Devlin to rewrite the script. Morgan wanted to tell a story of a normal person who does something heroic, but he also wanted to incorporate humor, specifically humor similar to that in Indiana Jones. "I'm a big fan of situational humor and I feel like comedy plays best when it's the right thing at the right time and not just somebody trying to make a joke. For example, in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana Jones is faced with fighting the swordsman and he just pulls out a gun and shoots him. That’s not really a joke, but it got a huge laugh. That's the kind of humor we tried to work." Also, re: LORD OF THE RINGS, Return of the King came out in December of 2003 and won Best Picture a couple of months later. Fellowship Of The Ring came out in 2001.

A couple of years ago, I did a deep dive into the Jason Statham filmography. If you want to see a worse movie t hat is also more boring and yet somehow stranger, I would recommend LONDON, which came out a year after Cellular. Why would I bring up this Jason Statham movie? Because it ALSO stars Chris Evans, Jessica Biel, and Jason Statham. It doesn't take place in London, Jessica Biel's name is London. Statham plays a coked up banker who, despite being like 50 years older than Evans, is friends with him.

This movie should have been five minutes long. The phone would display the phone number from the incoming call. Even if they get disconnected, it saves the last 50 calls. Chris Evans could have told the police that a woman was kidnapped and being held at the home with that phone number. The cops could confirm the owner of the phone number with the phone company then search the place. Also, the crooked police officer hiding out in Kim Basinger's house puts on an accent which is what tips of William H Macy. Why? That seems like a really pointless way to draw attention to yourself.

There’s an obvious reason why the always fabulous Noah Emmerich took this shitty role: The movie’s executive producer and head of New Line Cinema is none other than...... Toby Emmerich! His brother! Research!

I had to search out the script to find out if the nipples scene was actually something that someone sat down and wrote. Thankfully it appears no one did because that isn't in the script http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/cellular.pdf . But then that means that is something they found on the day? That really isn't any better. Although Noah Emmerich was a dick to William H. Macy about his day spa I thought he was being sincere about trying to get him to join his squad. Did Noah think the one missing piece from his corrupt vice squad was a clean cop who'd never seen any action and was on the verge of retirement?

Jason says he wants procedural where the cop is an average guy going about his day and is about to retire but has a nagging feeling about this. That's Robert Duval in Falling Down.

I've got my pick locked and loaded!

I disagree with the Sonny hate. I think he was terrific. I found him to be a relatively unique character for a film, a quiet non-vocal type. What was interesting, and perhaps disorienting for most, was that he wasn't given any sort of desires. Like we connect with Jacy's experimentation and trying to stop herself from this boring town and find some excitement and life experiences. Duane we could see his goal was trying to impress Jacy. But Sonny was just there. Oh sure he found some occasional moments of life - that's what the Mexico trip was - but I found him a great comparison with those other two, and frankly it is probably realistic to a lot of kids. Not everyone strives. I liked seeing that.

Local references get you local work.

I agree that everyone is in a different movie. Probably because none of them met each other. I kept wondering why they didn’t reveal Statham & co were cops earlier, because then Jessica Martin could say DON’T go to the cops. It would make a bit more sense. Of course, we’d miss the riveting stairwell scene where he is losing the signal. Macy was great though. My FAVORITE thing was that after he shoots the female cop, by distracting her by kicking over the fish tank. The next time we see him, he’s in the back of an ambulance and he has saved the fish in a tiny glass. I really wish he carried the fish around for the rest of the movie. Funny this dropped today since it was recorded in Nov. Last night on “The Good Place” (which Jason was on) they mentioned torturing Shakespeare by telling him the plot of the Entourage movie and I thought, “hey didn’t Ike Barinholtz want to talk about Entourage? Maybe HDTGM should do that one...” Is it bad enough to torture Willy Shakes? (I only saw a couple episodes of the show and I hated all the characters but Shakespeare might be kind of into the sex stuff.)

Don't forget:

Yes, but he’s less than vanilla. He’s just, like, an ice cube.

Somehow it never occurred to me they might be avoiding a few obvious “bad movie classics” like Manos for this reason. Even glancing over the complete HDTGM list, the only movie I can think of that both have done is Mac and Me, and that one was done by the podcast waaaayyy before MST3K. They’ve also done a lot of movies that MST3K spinoffs, like Rifftrax, have done. It’s always been weird to me that 200+ episodes in, they’ve done several of the classics, like The Room, Birdemic, and The Star Wars Holiday Special, but have still left several others on the table, like Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos, and Troll 2. Also, they need to do all three of those ones I just named.

This is a movie that was made for torture. I believe they use it to extract information from terrorist. It is so bad that there are no words that will really capture how bad it is. Want to go insane, watch this movie. Where did the $45 million go in the making of this? The Animation is poor, voice acting is sad (even though there were a lot of talented people behind it), and it nothing but product placements! Please review this film!!!

(oops. Thought this was obscure bomb so I didn't check for an old thread) So it's set in a grocery store where, after all the people leave at night, the food mascots come alive in their own city. Just like Toy Story. Much of the budget was to be paid by the food makers for the product placements. Charlie Sheen voices an Indiana Jones dog, who is a private eye who is also Humphrey Bogart from Casablanca who owns a nightclub. A sultry femme fatale moves in, representing "Brand X" which plots to use Nazis to take over the grocery store. The femme fatale (Eva Longoria!) tries to fuck Indiana Jones dog but he turns her down because he has a sweetheart so she goes home with his best friend squirrel (he flies a plane, because he's a FLYING squirrel) to fuck him instead. The squirrel is a sure lay because he flies around town offering to bukkake every attractive woman he sees. When the Nazis take over, Indiana Jones dog teams up with his squirrel buddy along with defunct videogame character Aero the Acrobat (who is constantly trying to rape the squirrel). This climaxes in food mascots having a food fight with Nazi stormtroopers, not just with food, but with gallons of snot and shit flying everywhere. The animation looks like late 90s TV commercial CGI. The humor is cramming in hundreds of pop culture references and replacing key words with food names. Not even puns, just replacing words with names of food. Behold the condensed 15 minute version and all its horror. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-uIkcPfOCA The horror doesn't end there. Here's some trivia on the movie's production history: - It was scheduled to come out in 2003, but was pushed back first to 2005, then 2007, then finally came out in 2012. More on this later. - Infamously horrible working conditions. Tons and tons of VFX people talking about how working there was sheer hell. Screaming bosses, a boss' giant dog that roamed the office shitting everywhere, and only one bathroom for over 50 people. Working conditions were so bad, that some people only lasted six hours on their first day before quitting and walking out. - In 2003, the director claimed that someone had stolen the hard drives in an act of "industrial espionage". It is widely believed by those who worked there that he fabricated the story as a cover since there was no way it was going to be finished on time. Yes, the director allegedly made up a story about sabotage to cover his own ass over the delay. - The only reason the movie was eventually finished was thanks to the WGA and SAG strikes, which put a halt to episodic TV and commercials, which put a lot of VFX houses out of business, which meant there were a lot of VFX people desperate for work who would do ANYTHING that came up. Despite how desperate they were, many of them quit after 6 hours as previously mentioned. - The finished film ended up costing SIXTY-FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. It was auctioned off for 2.5 million in 2011. In 2012, it saw a limited release in the United Kindgom where it made roughly $20,000 opening weekend. It's rumored that the estimated total international lifetime gross was under $100,000. The whole thing is up for free on Livestream. http://www.livestrea...charliesheendog

My favorite thing about really shitty animated movies is imagining the actors' reactions when they see the finished product. Because they likely had NO idea it was going to look like this. I'm sure they were all in those recording booths thinking they're lending their voices to a Pixar/Dreamworks level production. Then it turns out to be this hideous garbage.

This would be great. I have, for a while now, wanted HDTGM to do an animated movie. Here's the trailer, though despite me posting this I'm gonna recommend you not watch it. For your own sanity.

Aside from The Smurfs (R.I.P.), have they done an animated wreck yet? Either this or Delgo. But probably this, because eeeeeugh! And yes, Rabin's piece on this was pretty monumental.