Leaderboard

I felt the extended timeline in this film was unnecessary and created more problems for the story. This film seemingly takes place over a six month period. Seemingly Katherine Heigl sets her plan to ruin Rosario Dawson’s life in action fairly quickly. If so, this would mean that Heigl is spending a lot of time establishing a fake relationship with Vargas. And I have a hard time believing that Vargas would just be cool having a 6 month virtual relationship with Julia after she put out a restraining order on him. He seems like the type who would want to find her immediately to either sleep with her or physically abuse her. Also, are we to believe that no one else came across Julia’s Facebook account. I’m constantly getting asked if I want to be friends with people who I barely have any connection to and yet her fake account seemingly goes unnoticed by everyone else. Surely Whitney Cummings or another one of her ChapterPad friends had to have gotten a notification that she was now on Facebook.

In the universe of the movie, Tessa is described by the people around her as being pretty much flawless, but during the margarita confessional scene, she describes Julia as being “gorgeous, talented, and effortlessly beautiful.” I guess she’s not so perfect that she can’t come up with a string of three adjectives where two-thirds of them don’t mean the exact same thing, huh? That being said, I would be pretty impressed if this was intentional flub as a subtle put down of Julia (i.e. refusing to call her intelligent) or as a way of further characterizing her shallow nature. However, without reaction or comment from anyone in the movie, a line that is essentially saying, “You’re pretty, talented, and pretty” comes off pretty lazy, clumsy, and careless.

I haven't finished listening to the whole ep yet but before I forget, I want to talk a little bit about Wattpad and other apps like it, since (as some of you know) work in publishing. The audience member has a correct description of Wattpad. Plenty of original books and some fanfictions posted on there have been picked up my major publishers. Just this year they announced their own publishing arm. They had previous had a film arm which produced the Netflix movie "The Kissing Booth" which was written on Wattpad and was one of the most watched movies on Netflix for several months. But, as June points out, it would be odd to have an editor at the Wattpad 2017, since they only announced their publishing line this year--unless she is some kind of content editor which it didn't seem like she was. I think in this case the "ChapterPad" of the movie might also have been inspired by some other publishing start-ups of the time. With smart phones getting more popular, a lot of people were intrigued by the idea of people reading on their phones (and 70% of traffic on Wattpad is from mobile devices). There were companies that would send you a chapter of a story each day to your email, for example. Alternatively, it could be an app you subscribed to that would provide the content. In this case, I could see why Rosario Dawson would be needed as an editor, and why she would have to do things by chapter, rather than all at once. This kind of publishing is called "serial" (not like the food, like the killer). It used to be quite popular when newspapers and magazines were the thing. Most of Charles Dickens' novels, which we now read in long form, were originally serialized in the newspaper. Here is a NYT article from the time about some of the "new" apps: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/12/books/review/new-apps-provide-a-world-of-literature-one-chapter-at-a-time.html Publishing likes to find ways to make new things do the old way, instead of imagining what the new things could do.

I’d like you talk for a second about Tessa and her mother singing Alouette. A jaunty French traditional tune that a lot of people recognize from French class or pop culture in general... but when translated is a fairly violent song. The English translation: Lovely Skylark, lovely little Skylark lovely skylark, I’ll pluck your feathers off. Each verse then describes each part of the bird that they will pluck the feathers from. A telling song for 2 women who pick and pluck at each other (and Lilly) metaphorically... and then perhaps literally when Tessa angrily cuts Lilly’s hair. Ultimately a smart little Easter egg for a pretty dumb movie.

Steve Mnuchin’s role is particularly interesting since it was CLEAR to me as someone who work in costumes and wardrobe that every aspect of Katherine Heigl’s costuming, makeup, and hair is supposed to look like Ivanka Trump. There is no way this wasn’t intentional.

I can't believe I just learned today that Steve Mnuchin was a film producer!!! AND that he's worked on MANY big films! I'm at a loss for words... Executive Producer of the following films: 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain, The House, Annabelle: Creation, Wonder Woman, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Unforgettable, Going in Style, CHIPS, Fist Fight, The Lego Batman Movie, Collateral Beauty, Rules Don't Apply (he also appears in this one!), The Accountant, The Midnight Man, Storks, Sully, Suicide Squad, The Legend of Tarzan, Central Intelligence, Lights Out, The Conjuring 2, Keanu, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Midnight Special, How to Be Single, In the Heart of the Sea, Pan, The Intern, Our Brand Is Crisis, Black Mass, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Vacation, Entourage, Mad Max: Fury Road, Get Hard, Run All Night, American Sniper, Inherent Vice, Annabelle, This Is Where I Leave You, Edge of Tomorrow, Blended, Winter's Tale, The Lego Movie!

This can't be a shirt... but it deserves to be made! #illbearookandtakethatcastle #notmycastle #paulscheernewcastle #paulscheeriscastle?

A crazy movie about a guy who gets suck into a cartoon. And not some fun kids or anime cartoon. A dark and unstable world. Yet the guy lives with it. He stays there for about 50 years until A Crazy girl name Holly Would(Get it), brings an ex con, Bruce Campbell look a like, comic artist. She wants to bonk either men to become real. Why, only tv tropes can explain( and a lot of people on tv tropes are not sane either). With a awesome soundtrack feature David Bowie. This is prime for a How did this get made.

Some fucked up bullshit.

True Lies and Kindergarten Cop. That's right, Two-fer Tuesday! Two ridiculous Arnold abortions that would make for awesome episodes. Also, there's always Junior. That movie was so bad my eyes started bleeding.

The not so classic Australian film from writer, director and lead actor, Yahoo Serious. It created quite a buzz back in the later 80's when it was released here in Australia and a mild buzz in the US too. You might just be able to get in contact with the man himself. http://www.yahooserious.com/

Perhaps an omission: When Paul read the taglines for the movie, they commented on how "For Better" and "For Worse" as separate taglines was dumb. But I suspected these were for two separate posters, each featuring a different actress. And indeed it was:

If you’re in any doubt just how rigidly put together Tessa’s character is, I’d only point out that she’s the type of person who uses correct punctuation whilst sexting - and I appreciate that. That being said, and I get there isn’t an MLA Handbook for this kind of thing (although there probably should be), if you’re going to punctuate at all, maybe use some exclamation points? Putting a period after “harder” feels a bit like sexting a neutral faced emoji.

She chose the David Caruso approach to her career.

The absolute most irresponsible part of this movie is that it perpetuates the dangerous myth that getting gut-stabbed will kill a person instantly. Tessa just falls on the knife and is dead, when in reality, she could've had enough time to lay there and decide she wanted to Inigo Montoya herself up to slay them all. In fact, the movie would've totally redeemed itself if, instead of Lovey at the door at the end, it had been Tessa bursting through the plate glass door with the knife in her hand. Or better yet, dragging them underwater, Jason-style.

So did anyone else see this as an allegory to Heigl's career? She started as a child/teen model, an industry with a strong emphasis on looks, and surprisingly earned a reputation as a difficult to work with due to stage parent mom who was also her manager, That reputation carried into her acting career where she did a variety of movies and shows, but nothing huge enough to get her continuous bigger roles. Then she lands Gray's Anatomy and earns heaps of praise and an Emmy, she even admitting during that speech that even her own mom/manager didn't think she was good enough to win. This basically has Hollywood needing to give her those bigger roles as the current "it" actress, akin to her getting an anchor baby to keep her husband in this movie. That eventually sours though as her prior reputation continues to cause her issues, like her various interviews about Knocked Up or how she withdrew her name from Emmy consideration because she didn't like the writing for Gray's Anatomy. Eventually she's leaving the show and doing flop after flop which pushes her outta sight of the casual TV/movie viewer, as her character also feels in this film, in what many saw along with the Emmy pulling out as a career suicide, which she does with literal suicide at the end of this. Or maybe I'm just punchy from getting home after midnight from the Berkeley show, trying to remember my correction and omission for when that episode comes out.

So the whole debate about whether Tessa killed herself over vanity or to do better for her daughter reminded me of a REALLY stupid debate I was following on the internet. On The Office (US), Jan (Michael Scott's ex-boss and ex-girlfriend) has a baby ostensibly from a sperm donor. Michael is very excited to have some role in the baby's life, and throws Jan a baby shower at the office. Meanwhile Holly, the new HR rep has joined the office. She and Michael hit it off immediately. At the end of the episode as Jan has packed her baby shower gifts and new baby into her car she turns to Michael and says "Don't date Holly." (Jan has witnessed a spark between them at some point in the episode.) Office fans are divided on what has happened here. Some people read this moment as Jan being her usual ugly self and doing her best to manipulate Michael into doing what she wants... afterall, one of the last things she says to him before this is in reference to Michael starting a college fund for her daughter. Other people read this as Jan suddenly having a magical change of heart and telling Michael "Don't date Holly" as an unselfish act, since she knows Michael will do the exact opposite of anything people tell him to do... therefore Jan is pushing Michael to be with Holly. Which is what he does immediately. My problem with both that scenario and Tessa suddenly having a magical change of heart is that there is absolutely nothing in the history of their behaviors to support this sudden act of... maturity? Jan spends the episode dominating the shit out of Michael and Tessa spends the whole movie gaslighting Julia to get her man back. Why the change of heart right at that moment? One of the very first thing Tessa says is "Now you're perfect... just like Mommy." Her vanity is an enormous part of her character. Not only that though, but I assumed that when Tessa commits harikari it was 100% to inflict one last manipulation on Julia, since Julia's hand have been all over the knife. How could any coroner prove Julie didn't drive that knife herself? Tessa wasn't thinking about her daughter... she was trying to get Julia until the bitter end. If it were truly an unselfish act, why not clearly commit suicide?

My biggest problem with the movie in respect to the podcast was that it lacks the “ridiculous” that we’ve come to know and love from movies like this on HDTGM. Most of the time with a glorified Lifetime movie there will be something just plain absurd... like with the mothers dating the sons in the Naomi Watts movie. I honestly thought while watching it that the absurd was found in the Ivanka Trump doppelgänger performance of Katherine Heigl, but then it went unmentioned.

Knowing this monster was attached to Wonder Woman and Keanu breaks my heart.

Mad Max: Fury Road is a particularly good one because it's about how people like Steve Mnuchin go on to literally destroy the world.

Y'all... I did not like this movie. I cannot wait to hear what JDR has to say.

So, last week, I hired out a cinema screen to play video games, and I need to talk about it.

100% agree. There's only one live-action character on the "positive portrayals" list in the (seemingly comprehensive) Wikipedia page "Albinism in popular culture" and it's from a fan-made short film parody of The Da Vinci Code.

- "A New York City cosmetologist, mistakenly thought to be a science teacher, is offered a job to teach the children of an Eastern European dictator." - 15% on rotten tomatoes - Fran Drescher was nominated for worst actress at the golden raspberry awards but lost it to demi moore in GI Jane. - classic 90's shit that had me running to blockbuster

Thank you. This is the one thing that rattles my cage around here. One person will complain, maybe a second and then everyone put on their "someone is wrong on the internet!" hats and the entire thread is people complaining about the complainers. Then I get to break up fights! ...It makes me crazy you guys. So crazy.